The Ties That Bind
by ilyawh
Summary: AU. PJ. JenJack. Joey's married to Dawson, best friends with Jen who has a little girl with Jack. Pacey's Jack's best friend... and so it begins... and it's finished too :
1. Default Chapter

Prologue

Jen was Joey's best friend. They had a connection that no-one could ever think of breaking. Even when they were apart they thought of each other when times were rough. It was that kind of thing that you knew would last a lifetime and nothing could shatter.

Joey's mother had died of breast cancer when she was 13. That had been bad enough but then her father was busted for drug dealing. Her sister, Bessie, was 21, and Social Services didn't feel like she was fit to raise her. Joey almost ended up in orphanage but two kind neighbours, friends of her grandmother's, decided to take her in. Joey was very tough at the beginning but Grams and Gramps (as she called them) were stubborn enough and Joey ended up closer to her than to her own family.

When Joey entered highschool Gramps suffered a stroke and was placed in bed. Joey knew, although no-one had told her, that he would never get out of there. She had seen it already. And just then she was faced with her first competition: Jen was Grams' and Gramps' real granddaughter, and she had been sent to the small town of Capeside to live with her grandparents because her parents couldn't handle her in New York. Joey felt threatened but soon she realized that Jen was just like her: lonely and in need of a friend. Soon they became inseparable. And by the time Gramps died, at the end of their freshman year, Jen, Joey and Grams were a family. Blood didn't matter anymore.

Of course, they were very different. Jen was wild, Joey was silent. Jen had everything going for her, while Joey had virtually nothing. They didn't let that come between them, though. They had their fun together, rubbing off on each other, Joey letting her wild side taking over sometimes while Jen allowed Joey to lead her towards academic excelency.

The first step towards separation came when they went to college. Joey got into Worthington, an Ivy League, while Jen got into Boston Bay, a good college, but still no Worthington. It wasn't that Jen wasn't smart enough, she just didn't see the point. Joey had always thought Jen was smarter than her but she could never understand the point of studying all the time when you could go to parties and hang out with boys. They kept in touch, after all they were both in Boston, but suddenly they were moving in different circles.

At Worthington, Joey met Dawson. It was almost love at first sight and it all happened pretty fast, at least for Joey who was used to thinking things through. They moved in together after half a year and after another year, Dawson proposed and Joey said 'yes'.

Jen didn't understand why Joey was in such a rush to get married. At first she took it gracefully, but soon after that she started being meaner and meaner to Dawson, started acting really possesive towards Joey, like trying to keep her for herself. She and Dawson could not get along and Joey found herself stuck in the middle.

Then Grams died. That was a shock for both of them, but Joey seemed to accept it easier, since she was more used to loss. Jen on the other hand was devastated. She started cutting classes, she failed her exams, and then when summer holidays came she just left. She didn't tell anyone where she was going or when she was coming back. Not even Joey.

Joey married Dawson soon after that and finished college the next year, majoring in Architecture. She always had had a thing for drawing and thought Architecture was a practical way to do what she liked. Dawson had become a teacher and they both lived a quiet life in the Boston suburbs.

And then Jen showed up again. Joey could tell she was a lot different from the Jen that she used to know, but the connection between them was still there, there was no doubt about that. She took Jen in, much to Dawson's dismay, who knew very well that he and Jen were not bound to become friends in this lifetime. And then Jen found out she was pregnant. Joey tried to ask her about the father but Jen stoicly refused to talk about it. She gave birth to a baby girl, Amy, got a job, got an apartment, and lived her life totally isolated from anyone but Joey.

The real shocker came when Amy turned two. They went and bought ice-cream, and celebrated in the park and that's when Jack showed up. Jen grew pale, Joey grew confused, and the next thing she knew, Jack was Amy's father, but no-one knew how he and Jen had met and what exactly went on between them. He moved in with Jen and sulky Jen became happy Jen again. And Jen had a great family and a beautiful life and for the hundredh time in her life, Joey wanted to be Jen.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Jen and Joey spent at least one night a week together. It was a tradition they had started in college, in order to manage to keep the closeness between them and it started again right after Jen got back. There was one Sunday at Jen's house, one at Joey's house. Jack made fun of it, Dawson complained, but the girls ignored it.

"OK, so what will it be tonight? I'll have you know I'm in the mood for a really silly romantic comedy with drop dead gorgeous guys in it or I send you back home to Dawson…" Jen let Joey in without even saying hello.

"Why you need drop dead gorgeous guys in a movie when you got a hunk back home is totally beyond me…"

"Ha Ha yeah you got a point but actually I'm being a supportive friend here since obviously you don't have a likewise hunk at YOUR home…"

"Ah, so you're in the mood to force ME to see drop dead gorgeous guys."

"Yeah, maybe that will bring you to your senses".

Joey was used to Jen mocking Dawson. Again, it was tradition. Dawson tried to keep a superior attitude and not 'stoop to her level' but the truth was that he was occasionaly pathetic in doing it. Joey had fallen in love with Dawson for his serenity, for the way he seemed to keep calm all the time, but after getting to know him better she realized that was just an appearance. The truth was that Dawson was a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. By the time Joey realized that she loved him enough not to care too much, but now she was sick and tired of trying to protect him from the big bad world. She hated to admit it but she was such a woman, hoping for a knight in shining armour to come to her rescue…

"Hey Jen, are you cooking something?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to teach myself how to do spaghettis… Why?"

"Something's burning, me thinks…"

Jen's face turned to panic mode.

"Oh dear, hold on in there. I'll be right back"

Joey took her coat off.

"So where's Jack?"

"Like I didn't tell you that he took Amy to Disneyland!" Jen's offended voice screamed from the kitchen.

"Right, I forgot… But weren't they supposed to be back by now?"

"No, he called this afternoon to tell me that they have yet to see half of it so they decided to stay one more day. Took tomorrow off and everything" Joey got into the kitchen where Jen was fighting with the smoke.

"Isn't he kinda spoiling her?"

Jen winked.

"I think he wants to stay more than she does"

They both laughed.

"Oh, by the way, did I show you the pictures from our trip to California last month?"

"No, I was kinda giving up hope on that."

"Well I just got them"

"Just got them? It's been a month!"

"Yeah well…" Jen coughed "I might have forgotten to pass by the photo shop and pick them up… Anyway, why don't you go get them while I fight these hot worms here… They're top drawer in Jack's nightstand"

"Coming right up" Joey said and headed for the bedroom. Soon got to Jack's nightstand and opened the top drawer. Over there lots of envelopes all filled with pictures… 'Gee, I wonder which ones are from California…'

She picked one of them randomly and took the pictures out. On top there was a picture of Jen, Jack and some other guy. They were all lying on the grass laughing, Jen being in the middle. What struck Joey was the unity of the picture. Not the unity of Jen and Jack, but the unity of all three of them. They were all together. It wasn't like those pictures of her, Jen and Jack where you could see the closeness between Jen and Jack and between her and Jen but she and Jack always had distance between them.

The next picture was again of the three of them. Leaning back against the wall, they were serious this time. Jack had one arm on Jen's shoulder and the other guy just leaned on Jen. Again, unity.

Joey kept browsing through the pictures. It was always the three of them. No-one else. Laughing, making faces, occasionaly serious, in different settings.

Jen suddenly came in: "Did you find…" she stopped when she saw what Joey was looking at.

"Are these the pictures from California?"

"Uhm, no…"

"Then they were taken while you were away…"

"Pretty much, yeah"

"Who is this guy?"

"That's Pacey. Jack's best friend"

"He seems to be pretty good friends with you too."

"Yeah, well, he's a great guy, and I'm always open to new great friends"

Silence. Jen seemed to be a bit off.

"Why didn't we ever talk about it, Jen? I mean, I understand that before it hurt to talk… something obviously happened to split you and Jack up and it hurt you and you didn't want to talk about it. But now…? He's back, he loves you, you love him… you're happy. So why don't we talk about it?"

Jen sighed.

"You see, Joey, I messed up real bad the first time with Jack. Real bad. I had it all and just gave it up because I was scared. And I hate admitting it. I know it's totally stupid especially since I did eventually get a happy ending, but I just hate admitting hurting other people…"

Joey placed her hand on Jen's shoulder.

"Jen, I love you and Jack loves you… you know it and you're not gonna mess it up this time…"

"I wouldn't let myself to mess it up. I was so lost without him… Actually that was the reason I messed up…"

Joey said nothing and waited for Jen to tell the story.

"See, Jack helped me a lot after Grams died. Materially and morally. He did everything he could to make me feel better. He was my knight in shining armour, saved me from a long life of sulking and drinking and sleeping around. And that freaked me out. I loved him so much and I depended on him so much that it freaked me out. Cause I grew up wanting to be loved but at the same time wanting to be independent. And I definitely was not independent with him. When he hurt, I hurt. It went against everything I believed in. And that's where it all went wrong…"

"Isn't that the way love is supposed to be? You can't love AND be independent. Love is all about co-dependency."

"Yeah well I'm not as smart as you are."

Joey smiled and stroke Jen's hair.

"What about now?"

"Well, I'm still depending on him. Just that right now I realized that he's depending on me too. Just like you said, co-dependency." Jen smirked. "Is that even a word?"

"You'll just have to go look it up in the dictionary"

"Oh come on…"

"What? You don't have a dictionary? You can look in mine once you come by."

"Count on Joey to try to make an intelectual out of me. Well I'm an uneducated unwed mother living in sin with my boyfriend and I'm damn happy about it."

"Well then I guess I'll leave you to wonder and go eat my burnt spaghettis."

"I'm wise to you Joey. I know what you're trying to do and it's not working. Jen Lindley will not, I repeat, will definitely NOT touch a dictionary. Dictionaries are evil. You get diseases from them, you know…"

"Yeah like word-lackness"

"Word-lackness is a tolerable disease. I can live with that. I cannot, however live with heavy dictionary headaches and dust-sneezing. It would be too embarrasing for me."

"Fine, then. Can I have my burnt spaghettis now?"

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Next morning, Dawson came to pick Joey up to go to work. He always did that, although Jen's home was actually quite close to Joey's office.

"Hey Jo, had fun?" he kissed her on the lips.

"Great fun, just as usual" Joey smirked.

"Good. Are you ready?"

"Sure"

"Hey guys, do you mind if you drop me off too? Jack took the car and failed to return it yet…"

"Of course not, Jen, hop in!" Joey said enthusiastically while Dawson sighed. "By the way, Dawson, could you drop me off at the library? I gotta get some books… Mr. Darlington specifically requested an exotic type of house so I gotta find some inspiration."

"Sure, honey."

They started the car, and Dawson drove silently. He stopped after fifteen minutes.

"Here it is Jo"

"Dawson, this is the college library"

"Isn't this where you wanted to go?"

"No. I wanted to go to the library I usually go to, downtown…" Joey rolled her eyes.

"Well you should have mentioned that. You know THE library is the college library"

"THE library is the college library when we're in college Dawson. We're not in college anymore"

"Yeah well why couldn't you tell me before?" Dawson raised his voice "I can't turn left now! I gotta go around this freaking park and I'm gonna waste a lot of time"

"Fine, I'll climb down and take the bus, just stop at the first station"

"No, I'll take you but you should have told me before!"

"Dawson, I've been going to this particular library for two years, why on earth would you think I wanna go to the college library?"

"Well it's not like I knew your library of choice." Dawson muttered.

He started driving again in an uncomfortable silence. After another twenty minutes, Dawson stopped in front of the right library. Joey opened the door, but Dawson suddenly grabbed her head, turned to her and kissed her strongly on the lips. It was such a sudden move that Jen nearly freaked out, she almost thought Dawson was going to slap Joey. Joey accepted the kiss, smiled and got out of the car. Dawson wanted to start the car again but then Jen said:

"You know what, Dawson, I got some researching of my own to do. I'll just get off here"

"Sure"

Jen said nothing and went running after Joey.

"What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"THAT! You can't tell me that that is normal behaviour"

"Don't you and Jack ever fight?"

"Of course we fight! We fight all the time! But it's different"

"How?"

Jen couldn't quite say it. Something was wrong and she knew it but she couldn't quite point to the actual problem.

"It's ok Jen. People who love each other fight occasionally. And this was no biggie, by the time I get home it will all be forgotten."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Hey Jo, what are you doing for Christmas?"

Joey laughed at the way Jen phoned her without saying hello or anything. She always seemed to make her day better.

"I don't know… I believe we decided we were gonna have dinner together but we have yet to settle the location"

"How about my place?"

"Sounds good but why exactly there?"

"Well, Jack's having some friends over and we're throwing a dinner for them. And I'm not having any Christmas dinner without you"

"So you've basically made plans and now you're forcing me to go along with them"

"Pretty much, yeah"

"So what if I have other stuff to do?"

"You cancel them, obviously…"

Joey sighed dramatically.

"Fine, I'll have my secretary squeeze you into my tight schedule. I might pass by for a minute or two."

"Good cause I'm counting on you to help me clean up."

Joey rolled her eyes.

"I suppose I should be thankful you're not making me cook…"

"There's no way I'm letting you cook for my guests… if I wanna poison them I'll just buy some arsenic, it'll be a lot cheaper and a lot easier to cover it up…"

"This coming from the person that thinks broccolis and spagghetis are the same thing."

"Well I ain't got the vocabulary but unlike you I can cook edible stuff… and they both sound Italian anyway… besides, we're ordering in at the dinner"

"Ordering in? On a Christmas dinner? This is so not Christmas spirit"

"What would you rather have? Christmas spirit or good edible dinner?"

"I'm still pondering on that one… we're losing our values, you know"

"Yeah I know I know, young people nowadays"

Amy's voice screamed in the background.

"Speaking of young people, I gotta go", stressed Jen took over. "She's been bugging me about eating some sort of chocolate Jack bought her in Disneyland… I swear, Jack's too nice for anybody's good…"

"Yeah yeah go now and feed that child. I'll see you on Sunday"

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Visiting building sites was not always fun. Joey decided to walk home to calm down her nerves. Her client, mr. Darlington, was not exactly the easiest of people. And Dawson was not exactly understanding when she took her work problems home. So she just walked.

"Joey!"

She heard Jack calling her and turned around. Jack was enthusiastic about something, obviously.

"How's it going?"

"It's going great! How about you? I heard you paid an extended visit to the god of cartoons."

"Yeah that was a lot of fun" Jack smirked. "For Amy of course"

"Of course" Joey rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Well we're buying presents now. And I have this huge shopping list Jen gave me for the Christmas dinner on Tuesday. Which reminds me. You ARE coming for the Christmas dinner"

"Of course I'm coming, Jack, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Good. See, I'm pretty nervous, it's my first Christmas in Boston so I'm trying to make it as good as I can".

"Don't worry about a thing Jack, I'm sure it's gonna be great."

She was surprised to be reminded that Jack had only been in Boston for half a year. He and Jen seemed such a fixed couple, it was hard to believe they had just gotten back together two months before (after sniffling around each other for other four months before that).

"Hey Jackers, are we Christmas shopping or picking up lovely ladies on the streets?"

Joey turned around and was faced with a tall blue-eyed brunette.

"Not that I mind picking up lovely ladies, shopping ain't my thing anyway", he winked.

"Joey this is Drue, Drue this is Joey. And before you start flirting or something, may I remind you both that you're married…"

"Well I suppose all good ones are taken…" Drue smirked.

"And some of the bad ones too", Joey picked up right away. Drue raised his right eyebrow.

"I like this lady, Jackers. A woman after my own heart"

Joey blushed a little. She wasn't much used to compliments.

"Good. She'll be at the Christmas dinner anyway. And she'll probably be over at our place on Sunday." Jack looked at Joey for confirmation. "It is our house's turn this week, isn't it?"

"Oh" Drue seemed to be struck by realization "This is Jen's friend…"

"Yeah, that would be me."

"Yeah, the new threesome member"

"Excuse me?"

"Didn't you know? These two are into threesome-like relationships… Beware…" Drue giggled.

Joey looked at Jack who just laughed. OK. So it was a joke. She should have known that.

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She showed up at Jen's a little later than usual.

"Sorry, Jen but Dawson discovered a new recipe and he decided to show me how good a cook he is. So I kinda already had dinner"

"It's OK as long as you're still alive" Jen said. "We're not alone this evening"

"Oh yeah, I heard, I bumped into Jack yesterday and he introduced me to Drue"

"Yeah, one of Jack's old friends. They used to have a band, you know. Jack was the drummer" Jen winked and started mumbling "Sweaty sexy drummer, yum…"

"OK I really don't need to know everything…"

"Oh come on, Jo, we're best buds and everything. You really don't wanna know what he looked like with his shirt all wet and how his muscles looked from the effort?" Jen practically drooled at the thought. "One of the first times I saw him he was drumming. It was love at first sight, I tell ya…"

"Uh, earth to Jen… I don't want to know about Jack's sweaty appeal…"

"Well, I figured since your guy is not exactly muscly and stuff, you might wanna live the real life through me"

"Oh, so that's what best buds do they rub it in each other's faces that they have muscly guys unlike others…?"

"It's the best bud's job to open your eyes to the world of possibilities out there. There are so many muscly guys out there, there's just gotta be one out there for you"

"I'd rather have the brain, really"

"Nothing wrong with having both you know. Jack's not exactly dumb"

"Never said he is. But there are not many people like Jack out there."

"True. Sad, but true", Jen concluded philosophically.

Joey just smirked and started taking her coat off. She was used to Jen treating her like she was still single. It was like an unwritten agreement between them "Jen will never accept Dawson as husband of Joey's…" She was surprisingly ok with that… well unless she was supposed to go on blind dates or something… Jen definitely did not go there, thank god.

She went into the living room. There was Jack, Drue and three other people.

"Everyone, this is Joey." Jen started. "Joey, this is Oliver, his girlfriend Sarah, this is Drue's wife Audrey, and you already met Drue."

"Hi everyone", Joey greeted with a smile. They greeted back.

"Finally we meet you, Joey!" Audrey jumped enthusiastically. "We were beginning to think you were just a fantasy"

"Why would you think that?" Joey frowned.

"Well, Jen kept talking about you like you were the perfect best friend or something. And since that does not exist, unless you're talking about me, it was either that she was exaggerating or that you didn't exist" Audrey smiled perkily. Joey wasn't sure if she was joking or not.

"Now, honey, no need to scare her off… how about you drop off your best friend abilities and start thinking about the wife obligations?" Drue wiggled his eyebrows.

Audrey looked at him flirtily: "Wife obligations? You are obligated to provide me and I am obligated to look pretty. That's what this whole marriage thing is about. And since my looking pretty is a given, I don't have any wife obligations" Audrey came to her conclusion.

"Now guys, I thought you didn't want to scare her off…" Jack started cautiously.

"No worries, Jack, I'll just lurk around and make fun of you in my mind. Go on. Have your way", Joey said and sat down on the couch. Everyone stared at her in awe.

"Jackers have I mentioned that I like this lady?" Drue grinned but soon his grin was replaced with a thortured glance towards Audrey. "Will you save that for later?"

"Sure as long as you save your compliments for me, since I am your wife and all…"

Joey loved the atmosphere. She had never had a group of friends, there was always Jen or Dawson or Jen and Dawson but since they weren't exactly buddies, there was never that playful group banter. Sure, Jen socialized a lot in her only year of college but Joey didn't meet many of her friends back then and they didn't quite mix.

The door rang and Jack went to open it. Everyone sat down on the couch and on the floor except for Jen who was looking for the remote control.

"Damn, I know I've seen it somewhere… And there's that movie with Keanu Reeves tonight!"

"Lindley, I am not watching Keanu Reeves if you have to tie me to the chair, I swear to god" a voice came from behind.

"Pacey!!" Jen beamed, ran towards him and jumped into his arms. Jack just came from behind and laughed at them.

"Easy guys, don't destroy the house or something."

"Well, you know me, I couldn't not destroy something if I wanted", Pacey smirked while putting Jen down.

Joey watched Jen in awe. She was glowing. She usually was, but now it was better than usual. It was so uncharacteristical for the cool, laid back Jen that she knew who always kept to herself.

Drue moved towards the two: "Hey Witter. You made it after all"

"Yeah, I figured what the hell… It's a band reunion after all" he winked.

"Not really, we're not singing or something" Jack said.

"Hell why not?" Oliver jumped into conversation. "We were pretty good"

"Yeah but we've got nothing. No instruments, no nothing. And it's not like we played in the last year or anything."

"Sorry to cut your band conversation short" Jen interfeared, "but we're having a friends' reunion. As you can see, it's not just the band here".

Pacey seemed to suddenly be aware of his surroundings. He looked around and his eyes stopped on Joey who just stood there and watched the whole exchange, feeling totally out of it but loving it nevertheless. He smiled, a sad half-smile, then turned to Jen.

"Well, Lindley, if you're gonna make this a proper reunion, you are going to introduce me properly and everything."

Jen dragged Pacey towards the couch.

"Okay then, Pacey, this is Joey, my best friend. Joey, this is Pacey, Jack's best friend."

"How do you do" he said and smiled politely. Joey felt out of place. The way he looked at her was making her unconfortable. She couldn't tell why.

"I feel ignored" Audrey said coughing.

"You might want to talk to your husband about that", Pacey smirked and turned towards her.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A Christmas dinner at Jen's house, surrounded by Jen's friends, was not exactly Dawson's idea of fun. Joey had known from the start that even the prospect of dining with Jen was not at all appealing to him. But it took a lot of convincing when the new plans took that even further. Dawson and Jack hardly talked, not cause they didn't like each other, but they simply had nothing in common so they lived their lives tolerating each other and the fact that their significant others just happened to be best friends. And with Jack the short list of potential people who would talk to Dawson ended. Joey had noticed the night she spent with Jen that the group was in its own bubble. Without actually minding, Joey had pretty much been an outside observer the whole night. It was like watching a movie: it was funny, she loved it, but she couldn't change the events.

It was going to be an interesting evening, she sighed, but she refused to spend her Christmas without Jen.

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"Jo, Dawson! You got here just in time!" Jen smiled and hugged Joey.

"You mean we're early" Joey frowned.

"Considering the fact that the other guests are pretty much staying at my house there's no such thing as early" Jen giggled.

Not that Jen and Jack had a huge flat, cause they didn't. But the guests didn't seem to mind the couches and the sleeping bags. Jen said she felt like she was in college again.

They entered the living room, where everyone was gathered around Amy. She had received a dollhouse for Christmas and was keen to explain to everyone how things should be.

"Little Amy here" she put the baby doll in the upstairs room. "Mommy here" she placed the mommy doll in the kitchen. Audrey protested:

"No, mommy here" she took the doll and placed it in the bathroom.

Amy looked confused. Jen thought it was time to make the introductions:

"Hey guys. May I have your attention, please?"

Everyone turned to the door.

"I'm sure everyone remembers Joey, now I would like you to meet Joey's husband, Dawson. Dawson, this is Drue, Audrey, Pacey, Sarah and Oliver."

They all greeted each other and were indecisive about what came next. Amy took matters in her own hands:

"And daddy here" she said, placing the daddy doll in the garrage.

"Hm, so young and so brainwashed", Audrey muttered.

"Yeah, Lindley, what happened to your not so conventional views on life?" Pacey grinned. "I mean, it don't get more conventional than what this kid is saying right here"

"I don't know where she gets her ideas" Jen sighed and took Amy in her arms. "But don't worry, if she's anything like me, she'll come around."

Joey and Dawson still stood near the door, not sure what to do.

"Will you guys sit down?" Jack turned to them. Joey headed towards him, followed by Dawson, who clearly seemed out of place. Joey caught Pacey's gaze: it was… amused? Amused of what? He just looked at her, not quite smiling, but she could guess a sort of amusement in the way he stared. For some reason she felt annoyed, she felt like he was laughing at her, although she had done absolutely nothing to laugh at. She felt annoyingly self-conscious.

Jen came over with some snacks and sat on the couch.

"So, what shall we do? Shall we watch TV, again? Listen to you remembering the good old times? Play board games? Simply get bored? Or shall we skip that and head straight to dinner?"

"I vote for dinner." Pacey grinned.

"Of course you vote dinner, you always vote for dinner."

"Not really, Lindley, in the mornings I usually vote for breakfast"

"No wonder you've gained weight. Seems to me like there's nothing else but food on your mind. Who pays for that anyway? Shouldn't you have a job or something?" Audrey interfeared.

"Who says I don't?"

They all stared at him unbelievably.

"Well, Okay, I'm inbetween jobs right now"

"You're always inbetween jobs, Witter" Drue laughed.

"Hey, you remember the time you couldn't afford to get your own appartment so you lived on our boat? I believe you were inbetween jobs back then too, but god forbid you do anything about it." Jack smirked.

"Yeah you totally drove Andie nuts back then" Audrey quipped.

That was followed by complete silence. Joey was amazed at how quick the bantering ended and was replaced by an awkward moment of everyone counting their shoelaces. What's up with that?

Jen was first to recover:

"Okay, we took our trip down memory lane, why don't we go and have our dinner now before it gets cold."

"I thought it was ordered dinner." said Joey.

"True but why heat it twice?"

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He had a sad look in his eyes and that baffled her. It wasn't exactly melancholic, it wasn't depressed… it was just sad. He ate in silence while Jen managed to build a conversation with Drue. And Joey went from feeling annoyed to feeling sorry.

He intrigued her. He had from the moment she saw the picture of him with Jack and Jen. She knew Drue was talking about him when he mentioned the 'threesome'. And then she saw the way Jen had looked at him, they way they had flirted. A totally happy and blissfully in love Jen, nonetheless.

She heard the word 'threesome' again and she saw him smirk.

"Drue, if you have fantasies that involve three people, I suggest you talk to your wife and leave me out of it"

"Maybe you're one of those three people…"

"Gee, honey, thanks for the images but I'm eating you know…" Audrey gasped.

Drue winked at her and kissed her ear. Joey envied the way they fought and loved each other at the same time.

"Is there something we don't know about you, Valentine? I mean, I know I'm dead sexy and everything but I never thought I'd be your type… since I don't have boobs and all" Pacey raised a brow expectadly.

"Dead sexy and everything?" Joey replied in a gasp.

Pacey turned to her having the amused glance back on.

"Yeah, I know, that hardly begins to describe me and, no, you don't have to search for words to describe my good looks, I know you're at a loss, I've grown used to it." He smiled cockily.

OK so he was good looking. And the careless way he presented himself, not really shaved, but not really bearded either, had its plusses. And his eyes… ugh… 'there was a point in there somewhere… there's a _but_ in there somewhere'…

"Yeah I sure am at a loss, how anyone would ever think of you as dead sexy."

A couple of browes were raised around the table. Pacey grinned and his eyes sparked a little.

"Well, it's not like I can blame anyone for wanting me. It comes natural, apparently even for Drue-the-married-man here".

Drue didn't seem to happy about the reference.

"For the record Witter, I want nothing more than to keep your arse out of my sight."

"Oh, he's bringing my arse into this, now I'm getting suspicious."

"Hello! Wife of said Drue in the room right in front of you! Why are we talking about your arse anyway?" Audrey waved frantically.

"Don't ask me, he brought it up" Pacey switched to innocent angel with a grin mode.

"Ugh", frustrated Audrey swallowed a gulp of wine while Drue sympathetically stroke her hair.

----------------------------------------------

"God I couldn't wait to get out of there", Dawson breathed once in the car. He leaned and kissed her.

"I don't know, Dawson, I actually had fun…" Joey smirked.

"Fun? You call all that bickering fun? Gee, and they're supposed to be friends and this was supposed to be a nice Christmas dinner."

"They were joking, Dawson…"

"Didn't seem all that funny to me. They're all a bunch of smugs."

"Dawson, Jen was in there too"

"I know, God, did you notice how she was flirting to Pacey? It was so disgusting, wasn't Jack supposed to be the love of her life or something?"

"They're great friends, that has nothing to do with Jack."

"Yeah right. That what I just witnessed was more than friendly. And Jack just smiles and tolerates it. I wonder if that 'threesome thing' is real…"

"You have GOT to be kidding me, Dawson" Joey turned in a gasp. "You didn't actually believe that!"

"That Drue guy seemed pretty sure of himself"

"It. Was. A. Joke. This is Jen, for God's sake!"

"Exactly. Wouldn't be too shocking. I mean she has been away for a long time and no-one knows what she was up to… I'm telling you that whole thing with her and Pacey is not as innocent as you like to think. I'm not sure if Jack's the perverted boyfriend who enjoys sharing or the stupid best friend who can't spot cheating right in front of him, but that was pure flirting…"

Joey rolled her eyes and sighed. Always the conspiracy theorist…


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So, what do you think?"

"Dawson can't make it, his holiday ends soon", Joey sighed.

"Forget Dawson. Can YOU make it?"

"You know I can, Jen, after all I am my own boss. But I can't go without Dawson…"

"Oh come on, he'll be here when you get back. When's the last time you went on a trip without him?"

"Before we got married…" Joey babbled.

"See? You need to get away from each other a little. That way when you get back you'll want him more and have some hot sex"

"Jen…" Joey blushed a little. She wasn't sure that 'hot' was the exact word to describe the sex she was having with Dawson. Tender, yeah. Attentive, yeah. But not really that hot…

"Oh come on, Joey, you're a married woman now, you know what sex is, don't give me that blush…"

Joey smirked and said nothing.

"So… "

"So…"

"So, a week in Florida, great sun, good looking guys and me…"

"…and Jack who will no doubt keep you inside which means I'll be stuck with…"

"Drue, Audrey, Ollie, Sarah and Pacey… all good people…"

"All couples, Jen! Don't you see some weirdness in me going with them?"

"No, not really…" Jen pondered. "Pacey's not a couple"

"Oh so I'm stuck with Pacey. That's so much better" Joey rolled her eyes.

"Don't tell me you actually don't like Pacey" Jen raised her browes.

"I actually don't like Pacey"

"But everyone likes Pacey! He's like the definition of a fun, good-looking guy who's also a great friend on top of that…"

"He's a doofus"

"A what?! Is that English you're speaking there?"

"A doofus. A goofball. A loser. A cocky bastard. Does that give you a pretty good impression of what I think of him?"

Jen seemed a bit surprised. "Uhm, yeah, a pretty good one… but you're wrong Jo… I mean, he is cocky and all but behind that façade there's a great guy just waiting to be discovered. I can't believe you of all people can't see that."

"What do you mean I of all people?"

"Well when I think about it you two are quite alike. You both have been through a lot and are hiding all your pain behind a wall. His wall is painted yellow, yours is white, but that's just a minor detail…"

"What do you mean been through a lot?"

"Forget it. Forget I ever said anything. Come to Florida, please…! This is not just an excuse for me and Jack to have sex, I prommise… I can do that here and it wouldn't be much of a difference cause he's really hot whether he's in Florida or Boston" Jen smirked.

"Oh here we go again. Don't forget to give me all the details about your juicy sex life"

"Well as a matter of fact, just last night…"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Joey covered her ears.

"Ok, uhm… let's just go back to Florida for a second."

Dawson came in. "Florida?"

"Yeah Florida. You know, beach and stuff" Jen greeted him with a half-smile.

"What about Florida?"

"Well, the whole gang is going up there, cause Audrey's got a house on the beach… And we decided to go stay there next week."

"Next week? But I can't go. School is starting."

"Can Joey come?"

Dawson seemed surprised at the question. Joey? Without him?

"Uh, I'm not sure Jo would have fun with you guys…"

"What do you mean by that? You know I have fun with them!" Jo was irritated at his superior tone.

"No, I mean they're all couples and all…"

"It's not like we're going there to do solely couple stuff. And I hate to repeat myself but Pacey is not a couple"

Dawson barely stopped an ironic smile and Joey saw it. That irritated her even more, she had thought this whole theory of his was just for amusement, but he seemed to actually believe it. She just hoped Jen hadn't caught that too.

"I actually decided I wanted to go" she said decisevely. Jen and Dawson both looked as surprised.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I could use some time off from the city. And what better place than Florida, a lovely beach and everything?"

Dawson seemed hurt but somehow Joey decided she was going to do this. Jen was right, she needed time alone. She's never gonna appreciate Dawson if he's in her face all the time.

-------------------------------------------

Florida was really warm compared to Boston. Really really warm. And Joey felt like she was dreaming away from reality. This was heaven.

She sat on the beach and enjoyed how the sun touched her with its rays. She missed that feeling of warmth. Winter was a cool thing occasionally but nothing could beat the sun.

Jen and Jack were playing in the water. They really were great together, she couldn't help thinking. First, when Jen found out that she was pregnant and refused to talk about the father, Joey had thought that was because she hated the father. Probably a one night stand, but she hated to admit that the thought of rape had crossed her mind. When Jack turned up he seemed so nice she was utterly confused. He couldn't possibly be Amy's father, why would anyone hate a guy like that?

Then she saw him and Jen together and realized that it wasn't hate. It was fear. Fear of actually feeling something. And once that fear left them, once they knew each other over again, there was nothing in the way.

"Good morning", Pacey said enthusiastically and lounged next to her. He was wearing a pair of blue boxers. Joey hated to think that but they kinda brought out his eyes. Ok, that's silly, how can a pair of boxers bring out your eyes? 'I stayed in the sun too long'.

He did have a beautiful pair of eyes. Nevermind the hot body, nevermind the beautiful face, if he was totally ugly and fat and had that pair of eyes, he would be beautiful. Joey wasn't sure that made sense, but that's what she felt. Dawson's eyes were blue too… and they weren't bad.

"Hello…" he grinned at her. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"I was hoping that if I ignore you and wish really hard, you'll just go away", she muttered.

"I see. Well, you realize that once you pointed that out, I'm never gonna go, don't you?"

Joey rolled her eyes. Nevermind the eyes, nevermind the body or the face. He was annoying.

"Well then, I'll go", she just stood up and entered the water. But after such a long time in the sun the water was really cold. And it didn't help when she was splashed from head to toes. She looked back and Pacey wore a satisfied grin on his face.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist that" he said and laughed. Joey had never heard anyone laugh like that.

She was numb. There was nothing she could do, she just stood there numb just looking at him. His laughter dried out and his face showed surprise for a second before melting into a softer look. They ended up just looking at each other and that's when she knew she wanted him really bad. And the look on his face was all about reciprocity.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A very giddy Jen broke into a very sleepy Joey's room.

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

Joey mumbled something without any meaning.

"Come on, wake up! Wake up! Life is beautiful, it's a beautiful morning and you're gonna wake up!"

"Who are you and what have you done to my ever pessimistic and cynical Jen? I want her back…" Joey sighed.

Jen grinned from one ear to another.

"What?"

Jen giggled:

"Jack proposed"

"He did what?" OK now she was awake.

"He proposed!" Jen started jumping up and down in the room. "I can't believe he proposed! I'm going to die of happiness!"

"I see, so he's finally making an honest woman out of you."

There was nothing that could bring down Jen.

"I am an honest woman! I live with him openly!"

"I take it you agreed…"

"Doh! Do I look dumb to you? A total hunk that just happens to have some brains too, I can't possibly refuse"

"A total hunk who happens to have brains… well, at least you got your priorities sorted out…"

"Hey hunkness is a very good part of attraction… and attraction is a very good part of love…"

"Attraction and love don't always have something in common."

"Attraction and love always have something in common dear. I mean, yeah, attraction is not always love but love is always attraction."

"You can love someone without being especially attracted to him!"

"Yeah if they're your brother or father or something. When you talk about love in a romantic relationship, you talk about attraction. Otherwise it's just two good friends."

"You know, a relationship is not always about sex…"

"Of course not! But if you don't have good sex you don't have a relationship. You just have a sort of hanging-out thing with someone until some good sex comes along. Cause it's part of our nature as humans who are programmed to want the conservation of the species, to want sex."

"There's the cynical Jen again… I thought since you were so giddy and everything you might wanna talk about destiny and how you and Jack are meant to be…"

"There's no such thing as meant to be, Jo. You either are or you aren't. If you're not and you wanna be than you have to make it happen, it's not like it's just gonna come to you."

"You messed up with Jack first, but it worked out eventually."

"That's because he made it happen, Jo. Because he came looking for me… you don't actually think that it was a coincidence or that it was fate that we met… he had come with a precise intention: to look for me. Luckily for me, this was not only depending on me… "

----------------------------------------

"Guys, I really didn't come all the way to this very expensive restaurant and away from 'The Simpsons' re-run just to see you make out", a slightly annoyed Pacey pointed out to a very giggly Jack and Jen making out without even caring about the people at the other tables who didn't seem to pleased with the situation either.

"What did you come here for, then?"

"I came here for food."

"We have food at home"

"I'm sorry but chips and popcorn to not agree with my definition of food."

"Chips and popcorn are food. Junk food" Jen grinned. Jack seemed to agree with her since kissed her again.

"So what you're saying is that since I obviously have food, I should understand that I am not wanted here and leave two to make out in yet another location"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up" Jack kissed Jen's ear.

"Does that sum it up for us too?" Drue interfeared.

"Depends on whether you're here to eat food quietly or complain about someone who dares be happier than you"

"Eat food quietly?" it was Audrey's time. "The whole purpose of lunch is socializing! If I wanna eat food quietly, I order pizza in bed!"

"I doubt that would have anything to do with quietness" Drue whispered in her ear. Audrey shot him a hot look.

Joey felt out of place again. What was she thinking coming here with all these couples? Jen was so different when she was with Jack. She had never been sappy…

"Josephine, you're being awfully quiet today", Pacey turned to her.

"Don't call me that." Grams was the only person in the world who could call her that and not get beaten up.

"Isn't that your name?"

"My name is Joey"

"You take pride in having a guy's name? Wanna elaborate a little on that?"

"Joey is not a guy's name. Joey is short for Josephine."

"…and Joseph"

"That's just a tiny coincidence."

"It's just an interesting name for a girl"

"That coming from a guy named Pacey" Joey rolled eyes at him.

"No one could possibly mistake Pacey for a girl name" he said seriously.

"That's because no one could possibly think Pacey is a name"

"Uh, hello… you two… you wanna eat or are you just here to throw sticks at each other?" Audrey pointed to the waiter who was waiting patiently for them to stop talking and for Jack and Jen to stop kissing.

-------------------------------------------------

OK so she can't sleep. Actually she hadn't slept properly since she came to Florida. But doesn't have anything to do with anything. It was the change of temperature. She was used to cold now she's got hot. Literally. That's not a metaphore…

OK so he's in the dark kitchen and he's staring at her. There's no law against standing in dark kitchens and staring at the people who dare disturb you. There should however be a law against big beautiful blue eyes. Big beautiful blue eyes that sparkle.

"Hey Josephine. Can't sleep?"

Her name sounded really sexy when he said it.

"I'm thirsty. I just came down to drink something"

"So drink something" he said. There's that sparkle in his eyes again. He wasn't smiling, or at least he didn't seem to smile, cause the dark didn't make the picture very clear. But she could tell that he was amused. Again. What is it with this guy? The way he can communicate without actually saying or doing something…

Joey drank a full glass of cold water in one breath. It didn't help. Funny how she thought it would.

"OK I'm going to bed now" she mumbled.

"OK"

She couldn't move.

A long silence. Pacey wasn't moving either.

"Are you coming?"

He caressed her arm gently. His expression was blank but his eyes were on fire.

"I'm coming, Josephine"

Joey had no control of her hands grasping his body in a desperate move. Of her moving backwards towards her room while he was kissing her. She had no choice. There were lots of reasons against it but for the life of her she couldn't remember any. She'd been dead for so long that she was just happy to be alive.

----------------------------------------------

Pacey was there. In her bed. Holding her. She had slept in his arms and it was the best sleep she ever had. Joey had to control the satisfied grin from spreading on her face.

And that's when she remembered Dawson.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Oh my god!" She opened her eyes and got up.

He got up too and started putting on his clothes.

"Calm down"

"Calm down? I just slept with you!"

"Yeah and you might wanna shout it a little louder, I don't think all of Audrey's neighbours heard you properly…"

Joey shot him an angry look.

"This is not a good time to be a smart-ass"

"Look, it happened. It was bound to happen and you know it. Now we both got it out of our system and it's not gonna happen again. It's pretty simple."

He seemed so calm about it. Too calm. As if she was just another woman in his bed. Joey almost felt hurt.

"Maybe it's simple to you, but to me it isn't. I am a married woman. It's not like I go around sleeping with the first good looking guy that comes my way."

"Ah, so you admit I'm good looking…"

"That is not the point!" Joey shot him a dirty look.

"That may not be but it's good to know since you let me know of your anti-feelings for me pretty much as soon as we met. Or was that just a cover up?"

"Why are we even talking about this? I am a married woman. I am not allowed to have feelings for someone besides my husband!"

"Will you cut the nineteenth century lines? You're married. So? Everybody makes mistakes. A marriage is a normal relationship, the only difference is that there's actually a piece of paper to state it."

"Are you saying my marriage is a mistake?!"

"Your marriage is none of my business but my own personal opinion is that you guys shouldn't be anywhere near each other."

"Your own personal opinion is of no interest to me" Joey finally decided it's time to get dressed. She started putting on her clothes.

"I don't think I'm alone in this opinion. You're so beautiful and smart and he's such a… nulity!"

"Says mr. 'inbetween jobs' himself"

"First of all, the job does not make the man. Second of all I never claimed to be anything better. I'm just a one night stand and I don't have any claims on you. But the guy is holding you back. You take so much time taking care of him that you forget about what you want."

"You've barely seen us together once and you've reached this marvellous conclusion… how?"

"It takes one to know one, I guess."

"One what?"

"Nevermind. It's none of my business"

"You're right, it's not. So why don't you get out of my room. We're supposed to leave in an hour anyway."

-------------------------------------------

"Jo!" Dawson hugged her happilly. "I missed you"

"I missed you too…" she kissed him.

"You look… tanned…"

"Yeah, well, I spent most of my time on the beach, I suppose it's pretty normal."

"So what else did you do?" He said while she took her coat off and headed towards their room to unpack.

"Uh, not much… We basically just spent time together, didn't do anything fancy… Oh and Jack proposed to Jen."

"Already?"

"What do you mean already? They do have a child together you know."

"Yeah but they've been together for, what? Two months?"

"They were together a long time before that, they just took a break and everything."

"What about Pacey?"

Her heart stopped. Did she really have it written all over her face? In the morning she had felt like everyone was looking at her, like everyone knew. OK, so maybe not everyone but Jack knew. She didn't know him very well, but the way he looked at her… He had that almost sympathetic look on her face. She wasn't sure whether he felt sorry that she slept with Pacey or that she slept with Pacey while being a married woman.

"What about Pacey?" she tried to answer naturally but her voice did tremble a little.

"How does he feel about Jack proposing? I take it Jen said yes…"

"Of course she said yes and Pacey is very happy for them" She suddenly realized what he was talking about. "You gotta be kidding me. You're not still stuck on that theory about him and Jen…"

"Well, ok, so I only saw them once, but I didn't think it was as unbelievable as you make it sound"

"Trust me, I've seen them both all day long while I was in Florida. They are nothing more than friends. Very good friends, true, but nothing more. Jen is so wrapped up around Jack that I don't think she knows there are any other male specimens out there."

"That's very hard to believe. I mean, she meets two best friends. One of them is Pacey and one of them is Jack. Why would she go out with Jack? I mean, for god's sake, I'm a guy and even I am aware that Pacey's the good looking one in the combination."

"Love is not about good looks. Attraction is about good looks, love is so much more than that" Joey stopped in her tracks remembering her conversation with Jen. Attraction was important for Jen.

"Come on, this is Jen we're talking about. I may not know her as well as you do but I've seen enough to know that for her there is no love without attraction. And when you've got two guys, one more good looking than the other, you're attracted to the good looking guy. And when the two friends are attached at the hip like they said they were you can't have one without the other… it's not like there's time to realize whatever great personality Jack's got when you've got Pacey's good looks rubbed in your face"

"OK so that makes a bit of sense"

"That makes perfect sense and you know it"

"But love is not about sense. Maybe she met Jack first. Maybe she really didn't like Pacey's personality…"

"It's pretty obvious that she likes it…"

"Maybe she just likes Jack's better! Because after all it's not like Pacey's good looking and Jack's not. Jack's good looking too. Actually Jen talks for hours of how much of a sex god he is. Maybe Pacey's good looks are not exactly her style… God, I can't believe we're even discussing this. You watch too many movies, I tell you…"

Dawson smiled.

"Whatever. I don't care about Jen's sex life anyway… Her best friend's sex life, though, might be something I care about though…"

Something about the way he said it made Joey think about Pacey. Again. Oh God. Wasn't he supposed to be out of her system by now?

"I'm tired, Dawson… why don't we just go to sleep?"

----------------------------------

"How's adjusting to real life?" Jen called her at work the next day.

"It's working… sort of" Joey mumbled. "I've turned the heater up to the maximum but other than that I'm doing pretty good."

"Aha, side effects… gotta love those…"

"How's you?"

"Me's great. Just thinking I got a wedding to plan and everything" Joey could almost feel her grin through the phone.

"Aha so I take it Jack didn't change his mind once he got back to the cold streets of Boston"

"Byte your tongue girl, cause if he changes his mind I'm gonna have to stalk him to the ends of the earth! I got him and I ain't giving up!"

Joey laughed and then remembered her conversation with Dawson from the previous night. That was so silly, if he had heard the way Jen talked about Jack he wouldn't even consider such a thing.

"Good. So I take it you need help or something?"

"Help? From you? At my wedding? I don't know, Jo, do you have any experience…?"

"Well it might not matter much but I did go to a wedding myself…"

"Really? That's interesting… did you just go to it or did you actually plan it and everything?"

"Uhm… I might have decided the colour of the dresses for the bride's maids…"

"Oh, big decision. You do have experience."

"Yeah I do. So you want me to come over or something?"

"Today? Wouldn't that be a little, desperate? You know, planning the wedding a week after being proposed and while having no date set yet…?"

"You planning on waiting long?"

"Hell no! The sooner he promisses to worship me for the rest of my life the better. With guys you never know… I wouldn't want some sexy blonde to steal him from right under my nose…"

"Jen, you ARE a sexy blonde…"

Jen giggled:

"That I am. Still I can't take any chances… so, meet me for dinner at 'George's'?"

"What's wrong with your place?"

"Pacey and Jack are watching a football match"

"Pacey? That guy's still there? You guys adopted him or something?"

"Well, uh, he didn't have any definite plans, you know, he's just hanging around and stuff… Jack loves to have him near and so do I"

"You three are weird… I mean why would you want someone else around when you got Jack? Wouldn't you like a bit of privacy?"

"Oh trust me I have that too. Pacey's not an intruding type of person… anyway, my boss is throwing evil glances my way, I think impure thoughts have crossed her mind by now so how about I hang up and meet you at seven?"

"Sounds good to me. See you there"


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Jo!"

"Jack! How's it going? What are you doing here?! Aren't you supposed to be at work or something?"

"Aren't you supposed to be at work too?"

"Yeah well my work also consists of visiting building sites and that's where I was. Besides, I'm my own boss…" she smirked.

She saw Pacey nearing them. Her heart skipped a beat but she just smiled naturally in his direction. He smiled back.

"Yeah well I took some hours off… I'm, uh, shopping…"

"Shopping?" Jack was definitely not a shopping person. He blushed.

"See… my proposal was a bit… spontaneous… and I uhm…"

"You're buying the ring?"

"Yeah! Would you help me here? I mean Pacey's not much of jewellry person"

"Jackers, man, I did present an opinion, you just didn't agree with me"

"Not surprisingly, I don't think your taste is exactly a recommendation."

"What do you know about my taste, Josephine?"

"Stop calling me that!"

He winked: "I can't help it. You're so hot when you're angry…"

Oh God. What did he just say? Joey's feet melted and she needed to find a point of support. She blushed.

"Guys, guys… can we go back to my ring here, please?" Jack looked a bit unconfortable. "There was nothing wrong with the ring you picked, Pacey, but it wasn't very personal… I just want it to be something with Jen's name written on it"

"Well, you could always write it…"

"You know what I meant"

"I know what you meant but there was no such thing in there. So I just picked the best of what there was."

Jack sighed: "I hate shopping. But I'll hate myself even more if I don't get the right ring. She'll be wearing it all her life after all"

"OK, let's go find another store" Joey said.

"You're sure I'm not keeping you from something?"

"Nah, I can use the afternoon off. Just let me call Nancy and tell her I'm not coming."

----------------------------------------------------

"Jack, it's been two hours. Make up your mind"

"Geez Josephine, I thought you women enjoyed window-shopping"

"Don't Josephine me and don't 'you women' me. I hate shopping and I'm only doing this for Jen, ok?"

"No, you were doing this to admire my fine behind" Pacey grinned.

It would be so much easier if she didn't want him.

"There are many ways to describe your behind but trust me 'fine' isn't one of them…"

"You're just jealous you don't have an equally fine butt"

"If it was the only kind of butt in the world, I still wouldn't want it"

"I got it!" Jack screamed in joy. Pacey and Joey threw confused looks at him.

"Look. Isn't this perfect?" Jack showed them a ring. It was simple, made of gold with a few very small rubies. What struck about it was its form. It was actually made of two bands intertwined.

"This is us. Our lives. Intertwined." Jack had a happilly nostalgic look on his face.

"Now McPhee don't go all sappy on me. Just buy the damn ring already and let's get on with this. This whole gold searching has made me hungry."

"Do you ever think of anything except food?" Joey sighed in frustration.

"Yeah, I occasionally think about women and sleep does occupy an important part of my time… do you ever think of anything except bitching?"

"Lord, you two are infuriating. Come on, let's eat. Dinner's on me." One happy Jack lead the way towards the exit.

-------------------------------------------------

"Ok, what shall we have?" Jack studied the menu.

"I'll have a hot Josephine. To go" Pacey chuckled.

"Excuse me?!"

"It's in the menu" Jack was obviously trying not to laugh but he was failing miserably.

"Page 2" Both guys just started laughing incontrollably.

That's right. It was right there. Hot Josephine. Who the hell made up these names? What is wrong with these people? Is everything about sex theses days?!

The waiter showed up.

"Hello, my name is Dan, I'll be your waiter for the evening. What can I get you?"

"What is a hot Josephine?" Pacey asked inbetween chuckles. Dan smiled.

"A hot Josephine is our cook's specialty and its recipe is a secret. What I can tell you is that it's very spicy."

"Why Josephine out of all names?" Joey couldn't help herself.

"Josephine is our cook's girlfriend and she is hot…" Dan replied in a wicked smile.

"That she is my friend. Indeed she is" Pacey grinned. "I'll have one of that. Always one for really spicy things, me…"

"You're sick, you know that?"

"One hot Josephine coming up. What will you two have?" Dan turned to Jack and Joey.

"I'll have a hot Jen" Jack giggled. He and Pacey burst out laughing yet again.

"I'm sorry we don't serve Jens here, just Josephines"

"Oh well I suppose a Josephine will do for me too"

"Two hot Josephines. How about you, miss?"

"I'll have these two hanged and burnt" Joey muttered.

"You'll have to check with a hired assassin, then. We only serve food here."

"And hot Josephines" Pacey winked at Joey.

If only he was ugly. Those sparkly eyes would be the death of her.

"I'll just have some spaghetti and meatballs please"

Pacey and Jack both chuckled at the same time. What? Are spaghetties in any way connected to sex and she's not aware of it?

"What?"

"It's my favorite dish" Pacey smiled a surprisingly warm smile. "Thanx for thinking of me, in case I don't like what I ordered I'll just have what you got"

She had butterflies. She couldn't believe it. She had butterflies. The last time she had butterflies was in highschool.

"There's no way your poisoning touch is anywhere near my food" she said, but the tone was a lot softer than she intended it to be. He seemed to notice it too.

There's that look again. That I-want-you-real-bad-and-you-want-me-too-what-are-we-gonna-do-about-it look. And there was no way out of it cause he was right.

She just got up suddenly: "I'll be right back"

"Where are you going?" Jack asked, surprised.

"I'll be right back" she repeated and threw a look at Pacey. His look had switched to the I-know-what-you're-doing type.

She just ran towards the ladies' room. What was there to do? Was there anything to do?

She got to the door to the ladies' room but she didn't get in. She just stood there waiting. He came five minutes later.

"Took you long enough" she mumbled and violently pressed her lips on his.

"Josephine…" he tried.

"Shut up" Joey said and opened the door to the ladies' room. "Come on, there's no-one in here!" She grabbed him and dragged him inside then pushed him against the door. "We don't have much time"


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"We gotta stop meeting like this" Joey said inbetween kisses.

"I'd rather we didn't" Pacey kissed her neck fervently.

"Yeah… but… I mean… Oh… I mean… how about we… uhm… find… some place?"

Pacey stopped.

"Find a place?"

"Yeah, somewhere we don't have to… uhm… watch the door all the time…" They had coincidentally met in the city for the third time that week and just ran off to the dresser of a clothes store.

"Ok… that sounds good…" There was something about his eyes. She couldn't tell what it was. He seemed… relieved?

"So… uhm… know any place we could use?" She smiled and kissed his ear. Pacey moaned.

"I could get a place of my own… uh…" She stopped.

"Can you afford that?"

"Yeah, I can… and if I get a job, which I will… I will afford to keep it too…"

Joey smiled happily: "That would be great!" She kissed him passionatly.

"So you… uhm… like the idea…" he lifted her shirt and caressed her skin.

"Oh… I love it…" Her hands moved to his pants.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Where have you been, missy?" Jen was waiting for her in her office.

"I… uhm… I just visited a building site… you know I don't spend that much time in my office…"

"You spend way too much time out of the office for a person who's supposed to have an office job" Jen shook her head in dismay. "I called you twice yesterday and you weren't here and you didn't return my calls either"

"I'll remember to tell Nancy to remember the calls I get next time" Joey smirked. "What's burning?"

"What's burning? Me and Jack are discussing dates…"

"I take it you agreed on one?"

"Yep. We both decided the sooner the better so… uhm… we decided a month from now…"

"Wow! That soon, eh?"

"Yeah. Can't let him get away. Wanna be my maid of honour?"

"Aw, Jen, you know I do" The girls hugged.

"Good. Cause that's the only way you can make up for me not being yours."

"You would have been if I had had an address to send you the wedding invitation…"

Jen just sighed and said nothing.

"So what's keeping you so busy?"

Joey blushed: "What do you mean?"

"Well I called you at home too, a couple of times this week. You're never there. Dawson even complained to me. He never complains to me!"

"I just had a lot to work that's all" A small smile creeped on Joey's face.

"Oh my god!" Jen was struck with realization.

"What?"

"You're having an affair!"

"I… Uh… No! Of course not! What do you mean?"

"Jo, Hello! It's Jen, your best friend, I've lived with you for years! I know you like the back of my hand and I can see the signs: you're suddenly very busy, you won't even return MY calls, Dawson complains which means he's probably sex lacking and, by God, you are glowing!"

"I am not" Joey blushed even harder.

"Who is he?"

"You… you don't know him… Just some guy I met while working…"

"Another architect?"

"No… he's… he's in the construction business…"

"I see… And? Is it serious?"

"Serious?"

"Yeah, I mean, do you guys do anything except sleeping together? Has it got the potential of a real relationship or is it just some sleeping around to make up for Dawson's lack of ability in the subject?"

"Uh… we just met, really… so…. Uhm… for now it's just hard to keep our hands off each other…" Joey blushed. "No time for actual talking…"

Jen smiled: "Well well, I have to say I saw this coming…"

"You did?"

"Yeah I did… I mean, Dawson is a lousy lay by the looks of it and there's got to be some way to compensate. I mean, you're 26, for God's sake, you're only human and you do need a good lay from time to time."

"Jen…"

"Just be careful, ok? These things are not as simple as they look. I mean one minute it's just about sex, the next he wants more or you want more. And by the time you realize what's wrong Dawson might find out about it… Just make sure you know what you're after and get it… and only it…"

Joey nodded and said nothing. She just sighed and started looking at her shoelaces.

"So, do you think you could come with me dress-shopping tomorrow?"

"I'd love to…" Joey said softly.

"Good. Maybe I'll manage to get everything done in time. I gotta order the invitations too and everything."

"Do you think you can manage that and work too at the same time?"

Jen was a journalist who worked on a laptop and sent most of her articles through e-mail. She didn't need to be at the office all the time but she did have a lot of articles to write."Don't worry, Chris said he'd go easy on me this month."

"I'm happy for you Jen."

"I'm happy for me too…" Jen winked.

"Do you think it's wrong?"

"To be happy for me? I sure hope not." Jen grinned then turned serious and added: "Jo, I'm in no position to judge. You have to do what you feel is right."

"Would you ever cheat on Jack?"

"No, but Dawson isn't Jack"

"Jen.."

"Jo… I told you before and I'll tell you again. Dawson is not good enough for you. I believed it the day you two started dating and he hasn't proven me wrong yet. And you never looked as glowing as you do now, not even at the beginning when everything was supposed to be glowy… If you ask me, finding someone else is a brilliant idea for you."

-------------------------------------------------

Dress browsing was a fun activity when Jen was the partner, Joey thought.

"OK, how about this one?" Jen came out of the dresser wearing a very short white dress.

"Uhm, you think they'll let you in church wearing that?"

"A girl can try…" Jen sighed and got back in.

Joey picked up yet another magazine from the stand and started browsing.

"Oh, did I tell you Pacey's staying?"

Joey bit her lower lip.

"No… Staying with you? Wasn't he doing that already?" She tried to sound natural.

"No, he's getting himself an apartment. Apparently he decided to settle down for a while. He and Jack are searching for apartments tonight."

"Can he afford an apartment?"

"Yeah, despite appearances, Pacey's doing pretty good, materially speaking. He used to be a stockbroker and made a lot of money then…"

"If he was doing so well why did he quit?"

"Uhm…" An awkward silence followed. "He had some problems… and he didn't feel like it anymore…"

Jen came out with a simple white dress: "I think this is it, Jo…"

Joey just smiled and nodded.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

She couldn't breathe. She should but she couldn't. How did he manage to make her forget about everything?

"So what do you think about my apartment?" He smiled that beautiful smile of his.

"It needs a bed" Joey giggled.

Pacey grinned and caressed her cheek.

"I'll get one as soon as I can, I prommise…"

They kissed passionatly. Boy, the guy sure could kiss…

"I'm glad you decided to stop by" he whispered.

"I'm not very sorry either"

"Well I'm glad you're not…"

He had such beautiful eyes… Joey could lose herself in those eyes. She'd never seen anything like it.

"So…"

"So…" he smiled.

"I just remembered I don't even know your last name…"

Pacey chuckled: "Witter"

"Witter? Wow… talk about misfit… I mean, you and wit are like in parallel universes…"

He raised an eyebrow: "You're just saying that cause you're envious of my extraordinary intelligence"

"I wouldn't brag about it to too many people, Pace… they might choke of laughter…"

"Pace?"

"Yeah… I'm doing the best I can… I mean, with a name like Pacey…" she winked.

A comfortable silence took over while he was absently carresing her arm. Suddenly he lifts his head.

"So what's yours?"

"You don't remember my name? That's really good for my ego…"

He chuckled again: "Your last name. You never told me yours either."

"Potter"

"Potter? You got many pots back home?"

"Yeah like you got many wits in your brain…"

"I'll have you know my brain is full of wits, Potter."

"I somehow doubt it, Witter. You're so full of it."

"That's why you like me so much."

"Oh, so now I like you"

"You know you do" he winked and kissed her neck tenderly.

She actually felt electric. She'd read those trashy novels about electric sex but never did she believe that to actually be true. Cause she'd never experienced it. But he was electric. The way he was tender and wild at the same time. The way he kissed and bit at the same time.

"Potter"

"Uhm?"

"Don't fall asleep on me here. That might hurt MY ego"

Joey gigled. "What can I say, you wore me out"

Pacey raised his head and looked at her playfully: "Well when you put it that way…"

He just laid down next to her again. They were lying on a matress that was placed in the living room, until Pacey would manage to find some furniture.

"So…" she said in a sleepy voice. "Tell me something about you."

"What do you wanna know?"

"Whatever you want to tell me…" She smiled.

"I'm a very good cook…"

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I even worked as a cook once."

"I thought you were a stockbroker."

Pacey's browse were raised in surprise:

"Did you do research on me, Potter?"

"No" she blushed. "Jen mentioned it once"

"I was a cook before I was a stockbroker. And before being a cook I was a sailor. And before that I was a video store clerk…"

"Wow, you can't say you didn't have variety…"

"Yeah well I couldn't decide on what I wanted to do… so I just tried on different stuff…"

"And now?"

"Now? I don't know… I still don't know… How did you know you wanted to be an architect?"

"I don't know…" she smiled. "I liked drawing but you can't really make a career out of that…"

"You can if you're talented…"

"Well I'm not."

"I'm sure you're just too hard on yourself…"

"No I really am not… I mean, Jen liked my drawings, but Jen's my best friend, she's supposed to like them. But Dawson, for example, thought it was inpractical of me to expect to make a career out of drawing" She saw him frown at the mention of Dawson but she let it slip. What did he expect? "I just took the practical way out I suppose"

"OK, being practical is recommended, as long as you don't totally give up on the inpractical…"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, you are practical and you have a job, you're doing well, I think, so you can try drawing as a hobby… in your free time… and try to do something with it… otherwise you'll probably just wonder for the rest of your life… I mean, there are so many people like me who have no idea what to do, that when you actually know what you want it's a shame to waste it…"

God, that actually made sense. Joey extatically kissed him: "You know, you're right"

"Aren't I always?"

"Do you have a piece of paper?"

-------------------------------------------------------

"Are you done sending me into immortality?"

Joey chuckled: "It's done in crayon, Pace, in a few years no-one will be able to tell what it is… but yeah I'm done"

"Can I see it?"

"Sure. Actually it's yours."

She lied down next to him again and gave him the piece of paper.

"Wow, Jo, this is really good."

"You're just saying that" she blushed.

"No, this is actually good. If you don't do any more of these I will personally come and hunt you down. It would be a loss for the human race to have such a talent go to waste"

He seemed to know exactly what to say to make her feel good.

"I suppose I did have a good model" she smiled.

"You suppose, Potter? Where could you find a better looking guy to model for you?"

"Oh, I could think of a few guys… Ewan McGregor is quite handsome… but he's busy at the moment so I suppose I should settle for you"

"Lucky me" Pacey whispered and kissed her.

"Lucky you, indeed"

Then there was a knock on the door. They both froze.

"I… I'll go to the bathroom…" Joey got up and ran off.

She heard Pacey go to the door and then she heard Jen's voice.

"Hey Pace, up for some going out?"

"Going out?" he mumbled.

"Yeah, it's Friday night, come on, get dressed… did we catch you in the shower?"

"No… uhm…"

"You got a girl in here?" Joey suddenly remembered that she was naked and all her clothes were in the living room.

"You see…" Pacey seemed at a loss.

"Come on, Jen, let's go, it's obvious we don't have good timing" Joey heard Jack's voice.

"OK… but if you've got a girlfriend, I wanna meet her. And if you feel like having some fun, we'll be in 'Backstage'".

"Sure, I'll remember that."

She heard the door close, waited a few seconds, then got out. Pacey just stared at her wide-eyed.

"You do realize that Jack knows, don't you?" She was the first to speak.

"Jack always knows."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't even have to tell him anything anymore. And I didn't this time either. He just looks at me and knows…"

Joey got closer to him and just took his hand in hers.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Joey?"

"Dawson! In here!" Joey shouted from the attic.

Dawson climbed up.

"What are you doing here?" He sneezed. "Did anyone ever climb up here?"

"Bless you and I don't know, but this is my new studio."

"Studio?"

"For drawing…"

"I thought we agreed…"

"There's no reason why I can't draw and be an architect at the same time. Money comes from architecture and I get to do what I like too…"

"But Joey… I know you, you never do anything just for the sake of doing it… You want to make a career out of drawing?"

"Well, I prommise you that I won't give up architecture unless drawing brings good money…"

"But, honey, drawing is… such an unstable career…"

"So is architecture! I depend on people in Boston wanting to build things and if one day they won't want to or they won't like my style then I'll be in big trouble…"

"Yeah but…"

"Dawson. I want to do this. You don't have a say in it. You either support me or not but you don't have a say in it"

He threw her a surprised look.

"What is happening to you, Joey?"

"What do you mean? Nothing is happening…"

"You're… different…"

"I am the same Joey you always knew"

"No you are not. You are distant… We haven't made love in more than a month. You come home late. I hardly know what you do nowadays."

"You should be happy for me. I have lots of clients and they keep me busy."

"I am happy for you but you're married to me not to your clients! And I never get to see you anymore! You should either turn some of them down…"

"I can't turn them down! My clients recommend me to other clients and so on, that's how I got my name and that's how my name keeps growing… if I turn them down I not only lose them but I lose the people they know, too, as potential clients…"

"Well, then, get somebody to work with you! You can't possibly handle all this by yourself!"

"I can and I will… and when I won't I'll get a partner but so far there's no need…"

"Jo…"

"Dawson, I want to clean this up tonight. Will you help me or will you try to stop me?"

Dawson just sighed and mumbled:

"Fine. I'm going to eat my dinner. By the looks of it you won't be coming down anytime soon."

----------------------------------------------------------------

Jen and Joey hugged each other.

"Come, I wanna show you something" a giddy Joey said in an excited tone.

"Hold on, I'll just take off my coat", Jen quickly undressed and then handed Joey a bag: "I brought popcorn and a yummie Keanu Reeves movie…" she looked at Joey "…but we'll save that for later… come on, show me"

Joey took Jen to the attic. She had cleaned up and she placed a small desk with lots of pieces of paper at one window. Next to the desk there was a small lamp facing the other side of the attic which had a couch and a small table.

"Jo… Oh my god! You started drawing again!"

"Yes! What do you think?" Joey said excitedly.

"I think it's a brilliant idea! Actually I think giving up drawing was the dumbest idea you ever had! Good for you, Jo!"

"It's just a hobby for now but I was thinking, if I like what I do, I might actually try something…"

"You do that…" Jen smiled proudly and then spontaenously hugged Joey. "I'm proud of you"

"Thank you Jen, it really helps to know you support me… Dawson is a bit bummed about it…"

"This is none of Dawson's business, Jo. This is about you."

"Yeah well, he is my husband…"

"Your husband does not get to choose your hobby. So stop worrying about what he thinks and do your own thing."

"It's not just about painting… I have kinda been neglecting him, you know…"

Jen lowered her voice to a whispered tone: "Because of…"

"Yeah. I mean, I do have a lot of clients, true, but I kinda promoted Nancy and she's been helping me out with them… and, uhm, I do come home a bit late…"

"As long as you feel good about it…"

Joey blushed. "See, he was the one who gave me the idea… to start drawing again… that's why I kinda feel that drawing is like another symbol of me cheating on Dawson."

"He gave you the idea? I think I like this guy already…"

"Yeah he's exactly the kind of guy you would like…" Joey blushed even harder.

"So I take it this thing has moved on to the 'more than just sex' phase…"

"Yeah, a little. We do talk. I still don't know much about him, I sometimes feel like he's got this huge dark secret, but we do manage to talk a little…" she smiled shyly.

"And…?"

"And what?"

"Is this still just about sex or are you starting to like him a little?"

"I'm starting to like him a lot, Jen… I know it's wrong, but I can't help it… it's like he always knows what to say to make me feel better… whenever mr. Darlington starts pressuring me about this new house that's gotta be exotic but that's gotta look like all the other houses at the same time, whenever Nancy fights with her boyfriend and forgets to tell me that she just left the office… whenever I start feeling guilty about this whole thing… he always knows what to say and what to do…"

"Sounds like you two started to spend a lot of time together… I mean, two weeks ago he was just sex and now you're talking about something a bit continuous…"

"That's because…" Joey stopped. 'Because he has an apartment now and we've got a stable place to go to, as opposed to bathroom stalls and dressers'… She couldn't say that, Jen would know it's Pacey, it would be too big of a coincidence. "Because we finally made a bit of a routine.. I mean, two weeks ago we were just… uhm… doing it… wherever we could… but now I get to go to his place and all…"

"In other words you moved up from casual lovers in the back of a car to planned meetings in his apartment."

"Sort of"

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Jen… his place is becoming more and more like a shelter. I feel different there. I feel… younger…"

Jen just sighed and hugged her.

"You do what feels right, Joey."

"It's not fair to Dawson."

"Think about what's fair to you first. That's more important."

----------------------------------------

"Hey, Potter. Are you here to make my day?"

"No. I'm here to make MY day."

Pacey chuckled and let her in.

"So how are we going to make each other's days?"

She handed him a bag full of groceries.

"You are going to cook for me"

Pacey raised his eyebrows: "And this would make my day… how?"

"Well, you get to show off your brilliant abilities as a cook."

"Well, starting next week, I get to show them off anyway."

Joey threw him a surprised look.

"I got a job as a cook at 'Civilization'" he grinned proudly.

"You're kidding me! That's like the best restaurant in town!"

"I know. I couldn't work for anything lower than that."

Joey laughed.

"Ok, so you're going to give me a preview now… right?" She threw him the puppy-eyes-look.

"That don't work on me, Potter. I was going to spend a whole day doing nothing and I stick to my decision. You're free to cook these yourself or order yourself a pizza if you want to."

Joey pouted.

"You don't actually think I'm gonna fall for that?"

She got closer.

"I think you should keep your distance. I didn't shower today." He said reluctantly.

She closed off the distance between them: "Mmmm, I've got a dirty man on my hands… what am I going to do?" she nibbled his earlobe.

Pacey swallowed a big gulp. "Uhm… you can always… uhm… un-dirty him…"

"Yeah but… in order to do that… I gotta have strength… and for that… I gotta eat…" she started biting his neck gently.

He chuckled. "Ok, so if I were to… say… make a very tasty sandwich… and gave it to you… to eat… you would be willing to help me… with my situation?"

"It's got to be cooked meal, if you want me to do the job properly" She started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Uhm…" He swallowed again. "Good lord, woman, you sure are a slavedriver"

"Yeah but I'm a cute slavedriver" She smiled sweetly.

"That you are. Hold that thought" He ran into the kitchen. Joey just smiled proudly and started getting herself comfortable.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Hey Jen. How's it going?"

"Uhm… not so good…" Jen's sad voice came through the phone.

"What happened?"

"Jack's depressed. It's… it's a year since his sister died."

Joey gasped.

"I didn't even know he had a sister."

"He had a sister AND a brother. And they're both dead now."

"My God…"

"Yeah, I know. And I know that everyone thinks of Jack as this eternally happy guy, but he had it rough, you know. He doesn't show it much, but he had it rough."

"So how are you dealing with it?"

"I've been better. It's just this one day, tomorrow he'll be back to his normal self. And then there'll be June 2nd, the anniversary of Tim's death. That's gonna be rough too."

"You want me to come over?"

"Would you? I mean I know it's Friday, and you're supposed to go home to Dawson or to… the other guy… but…"

"Jen. Shush. No-one's more important than you and you know it. I'll finish my work here and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks. I really appreciate this."

"I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"OK…"

Joey hung up and called Dawson on his cell phone.

"Hey Jo"

"Hey Dawson, listen, Jen's not feeling well… I think I'll go stay with her tonight…"

"Honey, doesn't Jack live there with her? He can make her feel better"

"Usually that would be true, but the reason she's not feeling well is because it's the anniversary of his sister's death. So I don't think he's doing very well, either."

"You spend more time with Jen than you do with me"

"Dawson, you can't possibly not understand that I want to be with her when she gets it rough. I'd want her to be there for me too when I'm in a bad mood"

"How about me? Would you like me to be there? Or would you just shut me out the way you've been doing lately?"

"Of course I'd want you to be there but I'd want Jen to be there too!"

"So you're gonna go there tonight, you're gonna go there on Sunday night, why don't you spend tomorrow night there too so you don't have to bother with coming home!"

"Dawson…"

Dawson hung up abruptly. Joey couldn't believe it. She called again but he hung up again.

'This isn't happening'

She just sighed and called Pacey at work.

"Civilization, can I help you?"

"Hi I'd like to talk to Pacey Witter please."

"I'm sorry, he's not here, he took the day off."

"Oh, thank you."

Joey hung up and wondered how he could take the day off on his first week on the job. She tried his home number.

"Hello" he answered and she could tell he wasn't in the best of moods.

"Hi, Pace. Are you OK?"

"I, uh… I'm fine… you kinda woke me up…"

That wasn't it. She could tell that wasn't it.

"I'm sorry. I just called to say I can't come tonight."

"It's ok. I wasn't in much of a receiving mood anyway…"

Joey shivered. He didn't feel like seeing her. Why did that hurt? It wasn't supposed to hurt. He was just an affair.

"Ok… just wanted you to know"

"Ok…"

Awkward silence.

"I… I gotta go… I got lots to do…"

"Ok. Bye"

"Bye"

This was too weird for words and she had a bad feeling about it.

------------------------------------------------------

An hour later Jen called back.

"Jack just called me. He's not coming home from work. I think he's gonna get drunk tonight"

"Jen…"

"I mean, I know, he's got the right to be upset, but it would be so much better if we were upset together. I mean I loved Andie too!" Jen was crying and that was not an often occurrence.

"Jen, calm down. I can come now if you want me to"

"No, I gotta go pick up Amy from daycare anyway… You do your work"

"I love you Jen. It's gonna be OK"

"I know. I love you too."

Nancy came in right after Joey hung up. "Mr. Darlington's here."

"Did we have an appointment?" Joey frowned.

"No but he insists to see you right away"

"Ok… send him in"

He came in almost instantly. Jay Darlington was a man in his 40s – typical rich and eccentric kind of guy. Joey asked him to take a seat.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, we're not making much progress on the house, are we?"

"No, we're not, but I am doing the best I can, mr. Darlington."

"Jay, please. Whenever someone calls me that I keep checking whether my father's in the room" Joey was obviously not amused at the attempt of joke.

"Ok, Jay…"

"Anyway, I just thought I'd go with whatever you suggest on it, because I'd very much like to move from this freaking apartment I got right now… I've seen your work, it's good, so why don't we just go with the first project you did for this house?"

"That would be n.."

"Great. Now let's go."

"Go?"

"Yeah, I already told the workers to start building, but you're supposed to give them a few instructions aren't you?"

"Well… uh…"

"Mrs. Leery. I want this house started and if we don't go now I'm gonna have to wait till Monday and I hate waiting"

"Okay… let's go."

----------------------------------------------------------

It was 10 PM and Jen was going to kill her. The few instructions had turned into many instructions and then into a whole lot of them and the next thing she knew, she was going to dinner to discuss the house and she lost track of time. She rang but no-one answered.

Joey panicked. Maybe Jen went out to get drunk too. Maybe she was already drunk. Maybe she had hurt herself. Maybe Jack was drunk and he hurt her. She started looking for the spare key and found it pretty fast.

She didn't even take her coat off. She ran for the living room where she found were around five empty gin bottles. This wasn't looking very good.

The kitchen was a mess. Joey sighed. Jen was drunk. Dead drunk.

She headed for the bedroom and that's where she saw them. Jen and Pacey. In bed. Together. They were sound asleep and probably dead drunk, both of them. What struck most about them was the closeness of the position. Although they were both covered by a blanket up to the neck, it was pretty obvious that Pacey's arm was around Jen.

Her heart broke into a million pieces as she remembered Dawson and what he had said. Chemistry… Flirting… Cheating on Jack… This wasn't happening. Jen wasn't like that. Not with Jack, she loved Jack. Why would she sleep with Pacey? It was a week and a half till the wedding. Why would she ruin everything?

So Dawson was right. They weren't totally innocent after all. She just sighed and headed out. She wasn't going to show HIM how much it hurt. He was just sex. Nothing more. Just sex.

When she headed for the door she heard little Amy crying in her room. She went in and just held Amy, both of them just crying together.

-------------------------------------------

"What happened? Weren't you supposed to go at Jen's?" His angry glare from the beginning changed to concern.

"I had a very bad day, Dawson. Will you just hold me, please?"

"Sure, honey…"

She loved him. He was her husband and she loved him.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

She had been dodging Pacey's calls all week. She hoped he'd just get the message and stop calling, so that she could avoid the confrontation alltogether. Because, basically, she had no argument there. How could she expect him to stay faithfull to her while she was going back home to Dawson every night? She had no right to feel hurt.

"I just wanna talk to her" he came in in a rush before Nancy could stop him. Joey stood up and tried to seem cold but the truth was that her feet were shaking.

"Nancy, it's ok" she said. "You… you can close the door behind you"

Pacey came right in front of the office.

"Look, I know that I wasn't quite a gentleman on Friday, but that's no reason to avoid my calls. If you just let me explain…"

"I know." Joey said. "I know what happened."

"You do?" he was surprised. "Did Jen tell you?"

The mention of Jen's name hurt even worse. She hadn't talked to her either.

"Yes…" she mumbled and then she sat down.

Pacey seemed numb. He had a strange look on his face, a mix of surprise and hurt. Joey couldn't breathe. His hurt hurt her. And that's when she remembered what Jen had said about Jack 'When he hurt I hurt'. And she felt the tears coming.

"Jo… I loved her… hell, I still love her…!" he said softly.

The look on his face was so sincere and so painfull that Joey almost felt sorry for him. He seemed broken. She remembered his sad look at the Christmas dinner. He looked just like that now, just ten times stronger.

"The thing is… she never loved me back. I was Jack's best friend to her. That's all. Time and time again I tried to become her best friend too but she wouldn't let me. Every time she had problems, and God knows she's had lots of those, I was there for her. I held her when she needed me, she cried herself to sleep on my shoulder. But, besides that, nothing ever happened."

Did he say that nothing happened?

"Never?"

"No. Apparently she just wasn't attracted to me. Or… maybe she never considered me as an option. For me it was love at first sight, I felt like I was struck by lightning when Jack introduced us. But she… she didn't feel anything for me. I suppose I should consider myself lucky she allowed me to hold her when she was in need. She opened up to me, she told me stuff she wouldn't tell anyone else. But she never loved me"

Pacey collapsed on the chair.

"I know you may think it's stupid to hang on to someone like that for so many years…"

Joey just held out her hand and caressed his arm:

"Pacey, it's not my position to say anything" she said softly.

"I wasn't good enough for her. That's what it all comes down to. In her good moments she was the best person in the world. Smart, beautiful, funny… the whole package. I was just… Jack's best friend."

It all made sense now. Jen would never cheat on Jack. But the flirting did come from somewhere: it came from Pacey's strong love for her. Jen was an open person and she did like to flirt but she never thought anything of it. While Pacey…Who wouldn't love Jen? She was beautiful and smart and funny… the whole package.

"Potter?"

"Sorry… it just, all makes sense now…"

"What?"

"The way you are… So happy and so sad at the same time…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to make you sad with my sob story."

"Pacey… you didn't. I think we got closer today than we did in a month." She smiled a sad smile. "And for the first time I actually believe we could be friends…"

"We were friends…"

"No. I was telling you things but you never talked to me. It was more of a shrink – client kind of relationship"

Pacey smiled: "It's not exactly the kind of thing you talk about while having sex"

Joey chuckled: "Right."

After a moment of silence, Pacey asked: "It's over now, isn't it?"

"The sex part, yeah. It was all wrong anyway… but I think I just found a new best friend…"

"And I think you may be onto something, Potter" Pacey got up and held his hand towards her: "Friends?"

She took his hand: "Friends"

"So if I call you once in awhile, it'll be ok, right?"

"You'd better"

He kissed her cheek and left. Joey just stayed there, her hand on her cheek. She couldn't move. It wasn't his fault, you can't choose who you love. And it was sweet of him, how he was always there for Jen. So why did she feel like crying?

-------------------------------------------

"Hi Joey"

"Hi Jen. How are you?"

"I'm better now. It's just been a rough couple of days."

Nothing had happened. Joey knew that now. Jen had cried herself to sleep on Pacey's shoulder. It was OK.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you, Jen"

"It's Ok, I think it's better like this anyway. I needed some time alone to figure everything out. You didn't come"

"I knocked on the door. No-one answered."

"Yeah well, Pacey came and we got dead drunk together."

"Did it make you feel better?"

"No but I thought it would… but that's not what I was talking about. You didn't come on Sunday either."

"I'm sorry, Jen, I just… I didn't know what to do…"

"It's ok… how about we meet for dinner tonight and have that long talk that I owe you?"

"Ok. 'George's'? Seven o'clock?"

"Sounds good. I'll be there"

----------------------------------------------

"It's been a weird couple of days" Jen talked first. "The wedding is still on and we're still organizing stuff… but we also had that big major crisis to keep everything in suspense…"

"Jack would never call off the wedding, Jen. He loves you."

"I know that and it's not Jack that I'm doubting here"

Joey looked confused.

"See, that's what went wrong the last time… Andie… Andie was a bit… let's say… unbalanced…"

"Unbalanced?"

"She was sick. She was on medication. She was… mentally ill…"

"Oh…" Joey didn't know what to say.

"You see, whenever she had a major crisis, it all fell on Jack and Pacey. And… well it was the anniversary of Tim's death… their elder brother… he had died in a car crash when he was 18… And Andie and her mother didn't take it very well… Andie's mum ended up in hospital… and after a while so did Andie. She got out eventually but she occasionally had these moments when she'd see Tim and go nuts…"

Jen took a sip of wine. She had a sad, nostalgic look on her face.

"She was great, you know. When she was ok. The kind of person I want to be. And then she'd turn into a freak… and that year… as I said, it was the anniversary of Tim's death… and Andie went nuts… And I tried to help, but Jack wouldn't let me… he just shut me out… and I knew he hurt like hell, and I hurt like hell because of it, but he just wouldn't let me help him. And I hated that he had that effect on me. So one day I just packed my bags and left."

"Jen…"

"It was the stupidest thing I did in my whole life. The minute I left I knew it was wrong. But I kept telling myself that it's not normal to depend on a person so much. And I thought of you, and I needed you… and I just went back to you…"

"Yes Jen and you've learned your lesson now and you won't do it again."

"Joey, he's shutting me out again"

"Yes and you will patiently wait for him to let you in. You can't force this door open, you have to have a key."

"But it shouldn't be like this! We're supposed to help each other." Jen sighed in frustration. "I feel so helpless…"

"He will come to you, Jen" Joey took her hand and held it strongly. "You just have to be patient and love him. I can only imagine what he's been through, losing both his brother and his sister at such a young age. You have to let him deal with it in his own way. He loves you so much, it's so obvious just by looking at him… Trust me, he'll come back to you. You just have to wait."

"It's so weird between us now. We talk and yet we don't, does that make sense?"

"Yes it does… It's like that with me and Dawson most of the time."

"I love you Jo. I know I don't say it much, but I do."

"I love you too Jen…"

They just smiled at each other.

"How's your problem going?"

Joey smiled bitterly.

"We ended things. He's in love with someone else. He's got it real bad and he doesn't have much of a chance..."

"And what's the problem? This is not supposed to be about love. I mean, you're in love with Dawson, aren't you?"

Joey didn't answer. She just hung on to Jen's hand.

"My God, Joey…"

"It's Ok, Jen. I'll live."


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"I'm scared shitless. And I look horrible! He won't marry me if I look like this!"

"Jen, you're beautiful and it's alright to be scared. But you told me you talked everything out. You told me you solved your problems… so, see? There's no need to worry so much."

"Jo, you don't get it, I'm gonna have to go out there and prommise to cherish him my whole life!!! I mean, the love part, I got that covered. But me being the bitch that I am I can't prommise I'll never shout at him and that I'll never hurt him anymore and that I'll never feel like leaving again…"

"Jen. Calm down. The bitchy part is part of you too. And Jack loves you, bitchy or not."

"What if I mess up again? I can't mess up again! He won't take me back a second time! God, Joey!"

Joey sighed in exasperation: "Shut up, Jen. You're not going to mess up. You are on your way to marry the love your life and so you shall if I have to drag you there, you hear me?!"

Jen breathed in and out. "Ok… Distract me"

"Distract you?"

"Distract me. Tell me about you. We haven't talked much about you this week"

"That's because you're the one getting married, Jen."

"How are things with Dawson?"

"Weird." Joey sat next to Jen. "Really weird. I draw all the time and he's watching movies."

"Jo…"

"I don't know what to do, Jen. Our marriage is on the rocks and I don't know if I wanna do something, that's the scary part…"

"Do you ever think of… the other guy?"

"All the time. I think of him all the time." Joey sighed.

"Have you seen him this week?"

"No. But I will see him…" Joey stopped short in her tracks. "I'll see him soon. We still have some projects together…"

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. I mean, we ended it in good terms and it should be Ok… but…"

"But you ended it on good terms because he thought you were in it just for the sex"

"Basically, yes"

"So… how about talking to him?"

"I can't do that, Jen"

"Why not? Maybe he didn't want just sex either. I mean… you said he listened to you… guys don't do that unless they care, Jo…"

"Maybe. But he's in love with someone else…"

"That can change" Jen grinned.

"Jen, even if that were true, how can I ask him to fall for me when I'm married to Dawson and not planning on changing that?"

"You just said you don't know if you wanna fix things with Dawson. Didn't you?"

"Yes, I did… I did… but that doesn't mean me and Dawson will get a divorce… I mean this could all be just a phase!"

"Jo, this is me, Jen. I know you. You don't have phases of attraction towards people. You want this guy. Now, whether or not he wants you back is another conversation, but you have got to realize that things between you and Dawson are never gonna be the same again. Even if this guy is not the one for you, you've gotta realize that this thing has just proved you that Dawson isn't either!"

"You're just saying that because you don't like Dawson. But every couple has its problems, Jen. Even you and Jack had more than two years apart and then drifted back to each other."

"I never stopped being in love with Jack. I was away from him for more than two years and yet I loved him. I tried dating other guys but all I could think of was Jack. And two years of not seeing someone is a very long time. And yet my love stood the test of time. You weren't even away from Dawson and yet you stopped loving him…"

"Who says I stopped loving him?!"

"Jo, you just said you don't know if you wanna fix things! You wouldn't think that if you still loved him! If you still loved him you'd fight like hell and cling to him!"

"I… I was never the clingy type."

"That's because you had no-one to cling to, Jo. That's where your problem is. If you asked me you never loved Dawson. You saw something in him that you liked, you saw his dreamy way, you thought he's a nice guy, the kind you'd wanna be around, and just went from there. But a person who doesn't think love has anything to do with attraction is a person who never felt love and a person that does not fight to save her decaying relationship is not a person who wants that relationship to go on."

"Jen… you didn't fight for your relationship either and yet you loved Jack…"

"That was different and you know it. That didn't happen because I didn't feel anything, that happened because I felt too much. And, trust me, it's pretty obvious, you don't feel too much for Dawson! You feel friendship, you feel closeness, but I'm sure you realize now that that's not love… I mean, now that you've had some sort of feeling for a change"

Joey looked at her reflection in the mirror. She felt so small and helpless. What was the point of this? Pacey loved Jen anyway. No-one would pick her over Jen.

"Joey, look at me." Joey turned to her. "Tell me how you felt about the other guy"

"I… Whenever I was around him, I was in heaven… the way he smiled, the way he looked at me… the way he called me names like 'Potter' and 'Josephine' and make them sound good although I hate them coming from anyone else… the way he took care of me when I was down… it was a short time… two weeks… two weeks of going every day at his house… and yet I felt like he knew me better than anyone and that he was the only one who actually knew what I needed… He even gave me inspiration for my drawings…"

"Did you ever feel like that for Dawson?"

"No…"

"What did you feel for Dawson at the best of times?"

"Closeness… familiarity… safety…" Joey mumbled.

"There's your answer Jo. This guy is not even important. What happens between you and him is not important. He might not be the one for you, he might just be the one making you realize that staying married to Dawson is not a good decision. If not for anything, because Dawson needs to move on too… and by staying married to him you're not allowing him that, you're just indulging his fantasy of a marriage. So grow a spine and end this."

-------------------------------------------------

"Lindley have I told you how beautiful you look today?" A tipsy Drue put his arms around Jen.

"McPhee"

"Sorry?"

"It's McPhee now. Get used to it"

"Sorry, girl, you'll always be Lindley to me" Drue chuckled.

"Valentine, you're drunk" A tipsy Pacey put his arms around Drue.

"Witter, you're drunk too."

"I know, isn't it funny?" They both giggled.

"Guys will you stop leaning on me, please? You're kinda heavy"

"The lady wants us to stop leaning on her" Drue turned to Pacey.

"Lindley, we can't stop leaning on you. You're the mature one, the anchor…"

"It's McPhee now…"

"McPhee?"

"Yeah, I'm a married woman and you can start calling me McPhee as of an hour ago"

"No way, you're not keeping your name? I mean, an independent gal like you is accepting this sexist tradition?" Pacey chuckled.

"I'm, uh… compromising" Jen smiled proudly to Pacey. "That's what marriage is all about. Compromise"

"Didn't know you had that word in your vocabulary, Jennifer." Drue and Pacey both laughed.

"Ugh, you guys are annoying and you are STILL leaning on me. Now if you don't mind I prommised to be with Jack for better and for worse and I might as well start now."

"She's leaving us" Pacey said to Drue with a bummed face.

"Yeah. My husband comes first"

"Oooh, that hurts"

Jen stuck her tongue out and just left.

"Witter, you're leaning on me. Stop that. I can hardly lean on myself"

Audrey showed up and put an arm around Drue:

"Honey, dear… I wanna have sex in the bathroom. Wanna join me?"

"Oh, ok" Drue looked apologetically to Pacey: "She wants to have sex in the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Hey! Don't go! Don't…" Pacey sighed and turned to Joey and Dawson who had watched the whole thing. "Hi" he giggled. "What is it with people and sex in the bathroom anyway?" He winked and for a second there Joey thought she was going to have a heart attack.

Jen came back.

"I can't find Jack. Does anyone have any idea where he went?"

"Hopefully not to the bathroom" Pacey chuckled.

Jen threw him a confused look.

"Are you guys feeling well?" she asked Joey and Dawson.

"We're ok, Jen, don't worry about us" Joey answered. "We're having lots of fun"

"Good. I'd hate to know you didn't have fun at my wedding" Jen said and threw her an I-know-better-than-this kind of look.

"Don't worry, Lindley, Potter here knows how to have fun, you go find your husb..and" Pacey stopped in his tracks noticing everyone throwing him strange looks. "What? You do know how to have fun, don't you, Potter?"

"She's not a Potter. She's a Leery. She hasn't been a Potter for five years now" Dawson said in an angry tone. Joey felt like she was hit in the head and threw a helpless look at Jen who stared at her in disbelief. Pacey swallowed hard and suddenly he didn't seem so drunk anymore.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Joey was numb. She hadn't even thought about it till then. She had told him her name was Potter and she never realized that she lied. She couldn't look at anybody.

"I'm sorry, this is my fault…" Jen said. "I occasionally refer to Joey as Potter and Pacey picked it up from me…"

"Why are you calling Joey 'Potter' when that's not her name?" Dawson was visibly angry.

"It's something I picked up from the times when it was"

"So like you…!" Dawson said through his gritted teeth. "Will you stop coming between me and my wife?!"

Joey turned to him and tried to say something but he wouldn't let her. "No, Joey, I'm serious. I've kept my mouth shut for years now but this is getting unbearable, someone's calling my wife 'Potter' right in front of me and you're acting like it's normal! She has been on my case from the moment we started dating! You think I don't know she's been telling you that you shouldn't have married me? You think I'm not aware that she's talking about me behind my back trying to get you to divorce me?!"

Joey was surprisingly calm: "Dawson, if you and I ever divorce, it will have nothing to do with Jen and will have everything to do with you being a self-centered bastard! Now if you excuse me, I need a drink."

She just turned and left. She was pretty sure she left them stunned behind her but she didn't dare look.

She got to the bar and found Jack having a punch.

"Hey Jack. How's it going for you?"

"The bathroom is annoyingly and infuriatingly insisting to stay occupied and those bushes seem awfully tempting right about now"

Joey giggled. Leave it to Jack to be a really nice guy and make her feel better.

"I think it's Drue and Audrey. She had this ultimate fantasy to have sex in the bathroom."

"Thought it might be something of the sort. They're always the wild ones in our group."

"They seem nice"

"They are. The first time I met Drue, I thought he was a real prick, but the truth is that he tends to grow on you, you know? He's not the sort to open up and that's been his problem for a long time, cause Audrey found it quite hard to trust that he loved her when he never actually said anything."

"Saying it usually helps."

"Of course it does, but, I'll let you in on a little secret: unless the situation is absolutely desperate, we guys usually say those three little words when we feel they are reciprocated. I mean, when your girlfriend is also the closed off type and just keeps to herself until she's sure of you… then you have a problem… and that was the problem with both of them: they were crazy about each other but none of them would actually give in and say it first. She wouldn't trust him and he couldn't bring himself to trust her…"

"I suppose it's understandable… I mean I wouldn't totally trust a guy when he doesn't show his feelings… how am I supposed to know he's not just using me from sex?"

Jack looked at her with a strange smile and Joey realized this was not about Drue and Audrey anymore.

"Joey, if he wanted just sex, he would have gone and picked up a dumb blonde in a bar. It wouldn't be the first time he did that and it wouldn't be a big deal. But he went back home to her every night and he was there for her every time she needed him to be even if she didn't always feel like having sex. He never pressured her into anything, he just waited for her and supported her. How can she not believe he actually feels something?"

Her heart was beating so fast she thought the whole crowd of guests would hear her. There was a long silence and then she just smiled: "I can see Drue and Audrey. I think the bathroom is available now"

"Yeah, I see them too… I'll see you around"

-------------------------------------------------

Jen sat down next to her.

"Joey, you are not having fun at my wedding and I am taking it as a personal offence."

"I'm sorry Jen. I am having a good time. I swear"

"Right. Then how about we dance and leave the life-altering stuff for later... I've had enough angst to last me a lifetime."

"Why don't you go dance with Jack? I didn't realize till today what kind of guy he actually is…"

"Whatever you mean by that?"

"I'm trying to tell you, Jen, that I don't think you could've found anyone better… I am trying to give you some sort of twisted blessing, even though I know you don't need it…"

"Trust me, Joey, I know a good guy when I see him. I may not always know what to do with him, but I know him nevertheless… you on the other hand…"

"I'm sorry about the thing with Dawson… I… I feel a bit stuck in the middle here…"

"Why are we talking about Dawson? I know how you feel, you know how you feel, we both know how I feel… why is Dawson still an issue here? I think you yourself just nailed the final nail in the coffin there…"

"Jen…"

A long silence followed. Joey felt like she was stuck in Beverly Hills 90210.

"Why did you tell him your last name was Potter?"

"I… I just felt like a Potter when I was with him…"

"…and that leads me to my initial question: if that's how you feel, why is Dawson still an issue? I don't have to tell you anything, I am nearly stating what you yourself have already said and done! I am not trying to end your marriage and even if I was if this was something you wanted I wouldn't stand a chance…"

Joey just stuck her head in her hands.

"Come on, Joey, if I don't see you dance I will personally hold you responsible for the mess my wedding has become. Help me revive it."

"Where is Dawson?"

"He left right after you verbally slapped him in his oversized ego."

"…and Pacey?"

"Pacey has made best friends with a gin bottle. Unless he switched to whisky."

"Does he do that often?"

"Only when he has something on his mind. Like having a thing for a married woman…"

Jen hit so close to home that Joey nearly winced. Yeah, he had a thing for a married woman, alright. Just not the one Jen's thinking of.

"Jen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you but…"

"It's ok, Joey. The thing about being friends is that you can't expect them to always tell you everything, actually you can't expect anything. You have to just support them and they'll tell you when they can. I picked that up from Jack and Pacey. They hardly ever talk and yet no-one knows what's happening to Pacey better than Jack."

"He knows"

"I know he does. He always knows."

"And you don't mind that he didn't tell you?"

"It wasn't his story to tell…" Jen turned to Joey. "Expectations suck, Joey. Don't ever have any of those. Dreams are good, wishes are good, but expectations suck. Because when you expect something from someone you're taking that someone for granted."

Jen got up. "Come on, Jo. Enough babbling."

-------------------------------------------------

"May I have this dance, Josephine?"

He took her into his arms and started slowly moving to the rhythm. Joey leaned her head on his shoulder. She felt… complete.

"Don't fall asleep on me, woman. There's only so much of a wounded ego a guy can take."

She raised her head and smiled: "I guess you wore me out"

Pacey chuckled. His eyes were sparkling again. "Well, when you put it that way…" he wiggled his eyebrowes.

They both laughed surprised at how easy it was to feel comfortable together.

"So, Josephine…"

"Potter."

"Yeah… about that… I wasn't sure if I should ask…"

"I love it when you call me Potter… forget about Dawson, forget about everything. Just call me Potter."

He just smiled warmly. "So, Potter… have I mentioned how absoutely stunning you're looking this evening?"

"No, but it's good to know" He knew what to say yet again.

"It is, isn't it?" he giggled, and that's when she remembered he'd been drinking. He was holding up pretty well, just occasionally he'd make this giddy face that would remind her of his 'situation'.

"You're not so bad yourself, Witter."

"You know I'm more than just 'not bad'…" he winked.

"No… 'not bad' is exactly what you are"

"Extremely 'not bad' or maybe this very charming type of 'not bad'…"

"… 'not bad' works for me"

"Geez, woman, you'll be the death of me. Why don't you just call me ugly and get it over with?"

"I was just trying to be polite" she stuck out her tongue.

"Don't use that on me, it might have an unwanted effect" he warned and she felt her heart going out of control again. Finding the exact comeback would be so much easier if he didn't have those sparkly eyes to burn her with.

"Don't talk about unwanted effects if you don't want them" she mumbled.

And there it was again. That Good-Gracious-if-I-don't-take-you-now-I'll-burst look. And there they were again in the bathroom.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Potter… wake up, Potter…"

"What?" she opened an eye.

"It's midnight."

"So?"

"So you're at my place"

"No, really and I thought we were lying on the grass somewhere…" she closed back her eye.

"Uhm, not that I don't like you being at my place, cause I do… but… uhm… aren't you supposed to be home?"

Joey sighed but kept her eyes closed.

"No."

"You're not?"

"No. I decided you're right" she mumbled against the pillow.

"I am?"

"Yeah. Me and Dawson… we shouldn't be together"

Long silence.

"Potter…"

"Mmmm?"

"Is this because of me?"

Joey suddenly felt wide awake. What was she to say? 'I don't give a shit you love Jen I just wanna be with you'? Mmmnope, that didn't sound right. How about 'after sleeping with you there's no way I go back to sleeping with him!'. No, he had a huge ego anyway, he didn't need her compliments on bed performance. Which, by the way, was really good, she found herself smiling.

"Potter?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Pacey. Yeah, you were a deciding factor and everything but basically it goes down to me and Dawson not being right for each other."

"I just don't want you to do something you'll regret because…"

"Don't worry, Pace, I know what I'm doing. Now will you let me sleep already?"

He took her in his arms and whispered in her ear: "Can I hold you?"

"I'll think about it…" she smiled lazily. "Will you let me sleep on it? I'll come back with an answer tomorrow" she cuddled against him.

Pacey kissed her ear and laughed that laugh again: "Sure thing Potter…"

"Ok, this isn't gonna work" she suddenly got up.

He seemed confused. "What?"

"Don't laugh like that! When you laugh like that I totally wanna jump your bones!"

Pacey looked stunned but then realization struck him and he started laughing again:

"I can't help it if I've got a sexy laugh"

She couldn't believe what she had said. What was going on with her? Had she no self control left? Well, apparently not since she just climbed on top of him:

"What if I wear you out? Will you stop laughing then?" She lowered her voice seductively. There was something about Pacey that was turning her into a sex craver, and a very bold one too.

"Well, miss Josephine, that's for me to know and for you to find out" he said in a whispered tone.

----------------------------------------------

She woke up the next morning… alone… she tried to fight the feeling of disappointment. 'Is this how it's going to be? One hot one cold all the time?'… She got up and got dressed. That's when she heard him. He was singing. In the kitchen. She headed slowly towards him.

'We live in a beautiful world… yes we do yes we do… We live in a beautiful world…' (Coldplay – Don't Panic)

He had a beautiful voice, not exactly conventional, but warm. That's when she remembered he used to be in a band. Of course he had a voice, she softly laughed to herself.

He probably heard her cause he turned around. Oh, those sparkling eyes…

He was obviously in a good mood.

"Morning, Potter… Took you long enough…"

"Yeah well I would've slept even longer but I was suddenly very cold…" she smiled at him. He smiled back.

"Well, I made you breakfast, we'll eat it and then we can go back to keeping each other warm…"

"Sounds really good…"

"I'm glad you think so…"

"… but I can't. I gotta go fix this with Dawson."

He semmed bummed.

"Of course you do"

"Are you Ok with this?"

"It's not me who has to be ok with it…"

They sat down and started eating.

"Potter… where are you going to live?"

"Excuse me?"

"Where are you going to live? You can't break up with Dawson and keep on living with him…"

"Oh… I guess I hadn't thought that far ahead… I don't know… I'll move in with Jen, probably"

"Right, two newlyweds, their daughter and you packed in a two-bedroom house."

"Well, I can't afford the hotel… and it's gonna take some time till I manage to separate my stuff from Dawson's so I can afford a place of my own…"

"How about you stay with me?"

He didn't just say that. Joey stared at him in disbelief and waited for him to take that back.

"I mean, I have a spare room… it doesn't have to be about… just that you can't move in with Jack and Jen and you said you can't afford a place…"

"…right…"

"I mean, if you don't want to…"

"Pacey, you are amazing"

He didn't seem to believe her.

"Potter… we're friends… friends help each other… I'm just a normal person…"

"Will you cut the crap? I said you're amazing and I'm not taking it back." She got up and kissed him excitedly. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"I'll be waiting…" he smiled. And the world was beautiful indeed.

He truly was amazing… there had to be one major flaw in there… he can't be that good…!

And that's when she remembered his major flaw: he was in love with Jen.

-------------------------------------------

"Where have you been?" Dawson spat the minute she entered the house.

"I didn't want to come home" she said in an indifferent tone as she headed to the room.

"You didn't want to come home… and you didn't think of calling your concerned husband and tell him not to call the police on you?!!" he was angry. Oh well. Nervous breakdown happened. Screw it.

"Dawson, I'm getting a divorce."

"What?!"

"I'm getting a divorce"

"Why?"

"Because I just realized that we shouldn't be together."

"Joey… if this is about yesterday…"

"This is not about yesterday. This is about you never understanding how I feel and why I feel it. This is about you not encouraging me to do what I want. This is about you not even trying to get along with Jen, although you know how important she is to me…"

"She's the one picking on me!"

"Did you even try, Dawson? Did you? Cause I for one have had enough"

"That bitch!" Dawson whispered. "I knew she was gonna come between us."

"Don't you dare try and blame Jen for your lack of understanding. I gave you more than six years of my life to prove her wrong and you never did. Forgive me for finally knowing what I want."

"What do you want?"

"Not you, that's for sure!"

She had managed to pack most of her clothes. She headed for the attic.

"Don't I have a say in this?"

"No, a marriage is about two people. And if one of them is not ok with the marriage, then the marriage is already dead."

Joey took all her pencils and her drawings and headed for the door.

"You can't leave me like this!"

"I can and I will… wait for the divorce papers, they'll be here soon. And you'd better sign them."

"Aren't you even gonna tell me where you're going? So… so I can contact you…?"

"You have my cell number" she said coldly and got in the cab that was waiting for her.

The End


End file.
